The Areas of My Expertise

I just finished reading the book...very strange, funny at times

 

Excellent topic, JF.

I think I could be called as an expert witness on: Title IX, feminist theory, green chile, cosmetics, Pulp Fiction, QuarkXPress, Law & Order episodes, hair braiding and packing for a move.

 

dogs, food, music, the NBA and moving without the ball

 

Political trivia, downloading massive amounts of porn, playing gin rummy, how to be a dateless loser, Aaron Sorkin TV shows, Wisconsin Badgers football, masturbation and the ritual murders of hobos to appease the voices in my head

 

God, every time I have to list my hobbies on a job application, there's a small voice in the back of my head that chatters "Put down golf, strangling small animals and mastrubating!" Then I realize I've only played golf once in my life.....

 

Today's military small arms, cookin', beating off.

 

Bowling

 

Beware... you will be fetchin beers for everyone when I make you a newbie.

 

Big man, hiding behind his power.

(I keed, I keed!)

 

Futurama, hurricanes, being in debt, being depressed, being fat, beverages, pro wrestling, Cracker Barrels. So basically if you see Fry talking to Leela about her feelings over a couple of Sunrise Samplers and sweet teas, then paying for it with his Space MasterCard and getting out before Hurricane Zorga makes landfall, then I'm your go-to.

 

Football, hockey, high school movies, cooking (seafood and Italian are my specialties), random road trips to cool little places, endless Monopoly games, gardening, learning about the real estate market, Nip/Tuck, budgeting in order to repair my fiscal foolishness, microbrews ...