The Christmas Lights Story

You've got to be a warrior
A slave you couldn't be
A soldier and a conqueror
Fighting to be free

 

Alright, I nutted up and got the tree done. But the lights and ornaments will have to wait until tomorrow.

And NO tinsel. I'll still be picking that shit out of my living room during March Madness.

 

Oh, and I forgot, the whole fiasco ensued while a French version of "Bring A Torch, Jeannette, Isabella" ran through my head in the voice of either HC or one of the McGarrigles. I can't keep my Canadian songbirds --coughAnneMurraycough - straight.

 

I don't put up lights or any of that shit, if it was up to me we'd put the tree up on the 24th and take it down on the 26th. Anyway, my neighbour is in full-on Griswold mode this year after toning his thing down for the last couple of years. He's got a huge, illuminated Santa (w/sleigh) on the roof, a huge fake tree (w/lights) in the middle of his lawn and he has his lights all synced to music. It's like living next door to the Trans-Siberian Orchestra.

 

F-B, you heard me sing along with the anthem in Boston. I am the anti-McGariggle. And Anne Murray sucks.

 

True dat.
Must have been you, then.
GET OUT OF MY HEAD!

 

I can never keep the McGarrigles and the Roches straight.

<Leaving the Loudon Wainwright joke hanging.>

 

I wonder if the Bitter Yuck stuff would affect squirrels. If the hubby actually decides he'll hang our lights on the house, maybe I'll treat those cords too.

 

If that doesn't work, I'm going with the napalm next year.
I will destroy this shrubbery in order to save it.

 

Is that the Fenian Doctrine?

 

That's part of it.
There's also the part where I sit down with the Squirrel Leader and sue for peace.

 

You might not have fallen off the ladder if you hadn't kept hold of the umbrella.