The Continued Pussification of American Youth

I could see not allowing dodgeball. That is a stupid game - a friend's son sprained his wrist and couldn't play baseball - a real sport - for two weeks.

The other games are needed for kids to get exercise. Kids can usually manage to work things out better than adults.

 

Tell you friend's kid he can sprain a wrist wanking, too.

 

My fondest memories from grammar school were of playing Kill the Guy with the Ball, with about 40 people chasing some unlucky bastard through the schoolyard, and burying him under the most ungodly dogpile of pre-teen flesh you ever laid eyes on, while some ignatz tossed in dirt, rocks, dead animals and whatever other ghastly debris he could find nearby.

 

How'd he sprain a wrist playing dodgeball?

Dodgeball is one of the great all-time games. I think my kid's elementary school plays some pussified scaled down version.

 

I would bet that there aren't many sports out there that provide as much excercise as dodgeball.

Think about it. Pretty much everybody in the game is in constant motion. You're running back and forth and cutting from side to side the entire time. It has to be absolutely wonderful for developing hand-eye coordination and balance.

When we played, we didn't use the rubber balls, instead they were made of some sort of heavy foam rubber. You could still sling 'em fine, but they didn't leave that red welp and it didn't hurt if you took a shot to the noggin.

 

I swear some parents won't be happy until their kids grow up living in a padded room. You know? getting hurt is part of growing up. Trips to the emergency room because of a broken arm or sprained ankle are part of growing up. You learn to deal with shit. You learn to deal with pain.


Shit at my elementary school in Calgary we played a game called Hot Ass - where there'd be about a dozen or so of us throwing a tennis ball or hard bouncy ball against the side of the school. if you fumbled the ball on the rebound you had to go stand facing the wall with your back facing everyone as each person got to whip the ball at you as hard as they could once.

Do they still allow kids to play Red Rover?

 

Zeek -- We called it "Kill The Kid" . . . and we were as politically incorrect as can be imagined.

 

Not only does it teach you to deal with shit and deal with pain, it teaches you not to do whatever it was that led to that pain.

Kind of like my dad's philosophy: Let him do it, he'll learn.

Don't wanna get hit in the head playing dodgeball? Keep your head up and pay attention.

Don't wanna get hurt playing touch football? Learn how to play.

Don't wanna get electrocuted? Don't stick the penny in the outlet again.

 

No, because they think it's racist. They've also gotten rid of duck-duck-goose and Ring Around the Rosy (Duck-duck-goose because of the potential for head slaps and RATR because someone may get their arm pulled out of its socket.)

 

I rmember doing the same, and it was even more fun at my Catholic school because we routinely destroyed our stupid looking uniforms. The nuns did not approve.

 

We played an awesome version of dodge ball called "wall ball" or "war ball." Much like dodge ball except you could catch a ball and the thrower was out. Of course, the last ones alive were always the "wallflowers" who hung out at the back and didn't really play, but always made it to the end. A ball was considered live until it hit a person, a wall or was tagged by another ball.

 

It's lawsuits, man. No one wants to get sued for your kid getting hurt. Just strap helmets on them, and they'll be fine.