The "Homer" sports writer

Except the hitters' self esteem.

You are right.

Volleyball can be damn fast as well.

 

yeah, but volleyball simply sucks. at least softball resembles baseball.

 

Problem with softball, though, is that it goes so quickly that they're tempted to play a lot of doubleheaders. But it still beats covering college baseball ...

 

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

 

I'm a well-wisher, in that I don't wish you any specific harm.

-- Moe Syzlak

 

Yes, Moe. No chance for one the house is there?

 

Only to unescorted ladies on ladies night. Or if you just ate a poisonous fish.

 

Here, lemme make you feel better...

A show of hands for those who'd like a Division III football beat?

I ask with the confidence of a man holding a straight flush.

 

At my second job, my editor and I split the sports. He took softball, and I got baseball. I figured he was doing me a favor since baseball is the only thing I've ever wanted to cover. Then when the playoffs came around, I covered my first softball game. I called him afterward to tell him he was a prick.

 

The only bad thing about softball is postseason play. For the college I cover, most of the tournament is played in one day (first round Friday, championship Sunday). Since the team I cover is usually good but not great, it makes for one long fucking day. For instance, last year I show up at the end of the first game of the day (my daughter had a soccer game), and they lost. Yippee! Lose the next one, and I'm done at 2 p.m.!

Assholes didn't lose the rest of the day. And to top it off, there was a 30-minute rain delay in the last game of the night. Final score: 12-11. In nine fucking innings. Counting the story I had to write, I was there for 12 hours.

 

and if you hose enough hotties, you're going to catch the clap. i'll take my odds with both.

 

"Avoid the clap" - Jimmy Dugan