The most frightening words you can hear

"We got your HIV test results back. Unfortunately ... "

 

While on the table for your vasectomy: "Oops."

 

While ejaculating, "Wrong hole!"

 

"We redesigned and now I have to SQUARE OFF STORIES!"

 

Ladies and gentlemen, President Trump. Lol

 

I was laid off from my last job in a meeting that was ostensibly supposed to be about the new year's employee benefits. Clever clever, asshole CBO!

 

I was told that my hours were being cut right after the period for buyouts had ended, and I'm still not sure if that was deliberate or not. My hours were being cut while my responsibilities were being increased and my likelihood to get vacation time was being decreased.

 

"Ok. Should I give the district office of the Wage and Hours division of the Labor Department your office or cell number?"

 

It's illegal. You don't need a lawyer. Go first to HR. Then file a complaint with the district office of ways and hours. If there are repercussions any workplace attorney will take you on contingency because they can't lose if you have your actual hours documented.

 

"It's a strategic re-positioning."