The Ray Rice Elevator Video

I'm sure news side wouldn't break it down into specific names, but I do hope she asked him something along the lines of how King and Mort and Schefter and LaCanfora all got this so very wrong in the same way.

 

I don't think any of this is unusual. This is how women deal with domestic abuse all the time.

They're embarrassed. They want to protect their husband/boyfriend. They're afraid of further abuse if they get him in trouble. They're afraid of being alone if they leave him.

 

Janay's in her 20's, attractive, smart.

A lifetime of loneliness wasn't in the cards had she decided to leave.

 

Bisciotti sends letter to Ravens season ticket holders.

http://www.baltimoreravens.com/news/article-1/Steve-Bisciottis-Letter-To-Ravens-Fans/ca17b5f3-674f-4fbe-ac4c-d47927eb04ba?mobile-id=854408&media-type=N

 

That kind of reasoning is just like wondering why a guy like Robin Williams would kill himself, when he had so much to live for.

Someone like Jenay isn't thinking clearly. She doesn't think about how she would be ok.

She's thinking about protecting Ray. She's thinking about protecting herself from embarrassment. And, if she's been a victim previously, she's more likely to want to make it go away.

Women who stay with their abuser do feel shame for staying with them. They've likely told people previously. They likely were told by these friends and/or family members to leave the situation. They likely told their friends and/or family members that they were going to leave.

So, when they stay, and get beaten again, they don't want to tell anyone. They don't want hear, or even see the look in the eye, that says, "I told you so."

And, these women do become isolated as well. They either avoid their friends due to shame, or their friends get sick of seeing what is happening and seeing her stay.

Friends and family also do not want to socialize with the guy who is beating their friend/family member, so they only see the woman if she's alone. Abusers know which friends are telling her that he's no good for her, and they will take steps -- ranging from badmouthing them, to outright forbidding her from seeing these friends -- to keep them apart.

So, the woman feels like no one will want to hear her, or help her.

And, then in this case, the NFL and the Ravens did everything they could to reinforce all of these feelings by rushing to his aid, and offering their help to "them" as a "couple".

Show me one statement of concern for Jenay, that came from someone connected to the NFL or the Ravens, that was not conditional on her being with Ray, and I'll give you $100.

 

Jeffery Toobin eviscerating Goodell's interview with O'Donnell on CNN right now. "Incoherent to say the least."

 

1, Robin Williams lived 25 lifetimes in his 63 years. He was done.

2, I misspelled Jenay.

3, Again, pushing the whole "couple" dynamic makes me wonder what's going on or if there might be another part of the narrative that has not be made public.

 

Regardless, you're trying to reason with someone who is not in a state of mind to think reasonably.

It's fight or flight mode, and the instinct is often to fight for the person who is abusing them. Anyone who has ever stepped into a public situation like this can likely attest that they will not be seen as a hero by the victim.

 

You sure know a lot about Janay Palmer Rice, YF! It's almost like her very specific situation is being described with general domestic violence talking points.

 

RAINN: https://www.rainn.org/get-information/effects-of-sexual-assault/battered-woman-syndrome

Battered women stay in these dangerous relationships for a variety of reasons including:

• still being positively reinforced by the "honeymoon" phase of the battering cycle
• economic dependence upon the batterer
• belief that they can keep the peace
• fear of danger if she were to leave
• threats made by the batterer to hurt her or her children if she left
• loss of self-esteem
• depression or loss of psychological energy necessary to leave

According to Walker's The Battered Woman Syndrome (p. 95-97, 1984), there are four general characteristics of the syndrome:

1. The woman believes that the violence was or is her fault.
2. The woman has an inability to place responsibility for the violence elsewhere.
3. The woman fears for her life and/or her children's lives.
4. The woman has an irrational belief that the abuser is omnipresent and omniscient.

 

When Bob Costas eviscerates Goodell, then the Commissioner needs to prepare 2 letters. 1













1 Stalin is on his deathbed, dying, and summons Khrushchev. "I know you will beat out the competition and succeed me," Stalin said, "so, for your guidance, I have prepared two letters. Open the first one when you are in trouble with the Party the first time. Open the second one when you are in danger of being deposed."

Khrushchev obeys Stalin and takes the two letters. In 1956, he faces problems with the Party over Hungary and Suez. He opens the first one and reads "Blame everything on me!" So, Khrushchev gives the secret speech condemning Stalin to the Party Congress, causing the tumult to die down.

In 1964, Khrushchev is about to be deposed by Brezhnev and Kosygin. He opens up the second letter. It said:
"Prepare two letters.

 

How does that square with your earlier thoughts about Ms. Rice's attractiveness and her willingness to support him?