The Soccer Thread (Version 13) — Winter World Cup Edition

FIFA kind of did it to themselves. Until 2006, it was the defending champion who played in the opening game from position A1. So when the other team out of the hat was nondescript, there was at least one tentpole. And they managed to come up with some compelling upsets, such as when Argentina lost to Cameroon in 1990 or France faceplanted against Senegal in 2002. Germany only beat Bolivia 1-0 at Soldier Field, and the 1998 game was, if I recall correctly, a half-decent Brazil-Scotland outing. But now that A1 is the host, you rule out any of the other seeded teams. If your host is good, you get stuff like Germany-Costa Rica, which was a remarkably open 4-2, or Brazil against a Croatia team that would end up being in the final four years later. If not, maybe you get lucky and get a matchup like South Africa-Mexico in which the opposition is not great but well-known, but you're even more likely than usual to get a turd like Russia-Saudi Arabia, which was almost certainly worse than this one will be. From the fan perspective, I'm somewhat interested to see if Qatar is any good or not, whereas four years ago it was autocracy vs. autocracy with a team that's good enough but in no way compelling or easy to root for against a team that everyone knew was shit. And it ended up being 5-0 to Russia.

 

Germany vs. Japan just seems wrong. It's like the Spartans and Corinthians in the Peloponessian League.

 

Totally love Qatar announcing the alcohol ban only after the trips have been booked and people have arrived.

 

Tyler Adams named USMNT captain.

 

Very, very fishy VAR reversal. The replays didn’t show that the GK played the Ecuador player on.

 

We need to rewrite offside so it only applies to the torso.

 

Kind of enjoying watching Qatar embarrass itself out there.

 

I realized last night that the 2026 World Cup is going to need an official song and in a bolt of lightning I realized who has to do it: Weird Al.

I realize that “Sports Song” indicates his knowledge of soccer may be sketchy at best but who else in American music can deftly handle the cultural and musical styles? But should it be a parody, a World Cup polka or something like “Your Horoscope for Today.”? He could even parody his parody with something like "I Lost on Penalties."

 

It would cause an international incident but national anthem polka would be amazing

God save our gracious queen I mean king
God save our noble Queen shoot I mean king

 

That was a grim first game.

 

And imagine if Qatar was playing Netherlands first.