The Starbucks thing

Exactly. Sometimes I'll buy a Gatorade so I'll need to take another piss by the time I get to my parents' place. Sometimes I don't. But my previous purchase justifies any future pissing.

 

But if you bought a Gatorade, you can just piss in the bottle when it's empty. The wide opening makes those bottles ideal for a side of the road piss.

 

Gatorades do make the best trucker bombs.

 

I was in Europe with some friends a few years ago, one who is a particularly tightly wrapped ball of social disorders. For instance, she only crosses streets at crosswalks, and when she has the light. So, wandering around these cities we didn't know at all following maps we barely understood, things get very complicated if you're not willing to jaywalk. We'd just walk across a quiet street to the restaurant we were looking for. She'd walk 300 yards down the street, cross at the crosswalk and walk 300 yards back.

We were in Prague and she desperately had to pee. Another of her rules, though, is she won't pee without buying something, and she won't buy something just to buy something. She thought that fell under the same moral dark area as peeing without buying anything at all. So we walked past two or three McDonalds, two or three Starbucks, an untold number of bars and other appropriate stores and all offered to go buy a soda or a hamburger or a beer, but she just kept trudging along, absolutely miserable.

Anyway, she wouldn't get kicked out of this Starbucks. She's shit for a travel partner, though.

 

Point of order: My girlfriend had a brother killed when he was hit by a car. I've got to urge her on to cross an empty street not at a crosswalk or without the light.

I don't like it, but I understand her perception, and it's certainly not a social disorder.

 

Did you not have a Taser?

 

It should cheer you up to know that I have also handed a couple bucks to a cashier on my way to the bog if I knew I didn't want whatever they were selling. Worked like a charm.

 

Dollars-to-stale-overpriced-SBUX-donuts says that guy was a former RA at his liberal arts college.

 

The two Starbucks locations I go to don't seem to have a problem with it. Nice folks, laid-back stores. One of them always has people stopping by for restroom breaks only, and the traffic lane to the back makes it obvious.

That said, I'll probably hit some other places for a while.

 

I agree, even though I don’t think this is really the issue at hand.

When I was on the road more often and would have to slip into a Starbucks to file, I would always at least buy a tall—that’s right, that’s the name—beverage. It is the respectful thing to do.