The yoga must be working for Simmons

Fantasy,

You mean he'd lose the ability to rip without consequence.

 

Just one reason why Simmons is sometimes entertaining. Reading him trash people is funny if he can get some good insults in there.

 

He mentions leaving every second column or so now, so he definitely seems to be in the "I'm going to prepare the readership for my impending departure" phase.

In case you haven't caught it in one of his numerous movie - centered, or more generally, Hollywood - centered columns, the guy has aspirations as a screenwriter. I've written him before begging him to please stop using his column as a screenwriting audition. His fairly recent column discussing the hasn't - quite - gotten - over Josh Lucas was a blatant attempt to show himself as someone who has his finger on the pulse of the Hollywood filmmaking community and its concerns.

Simmons is a blogger, nothing more and nothing less. He writes about what interests him, and what he watches and does day - to - day. Many times it works for him because he likes to watch sports and he likes reality TV and other popular forms of entertainment. However, the 'self - absorbed' blogger nature of his columns comes out in his excessive focus on a long - since irrelevant team like the Celtics, or in his slavish homerism to the Pats. Basically, he's saying: 'F you, readership. I don't care if YOU like the Celtics, I do. Oh, and need I remind you that this column is free. Grovel at my blogger's knees.'

Well, as William has made his way out to Hollywood and become ever more fascinated with becoming part of the Hollywood world, we hear more about it. Same thing as if a blogger went off to college we'd start reading more and more about keggers and exams. We get silly little shots at the Sklar brothers because they do a show that Billy's 'pal' Adam would supposedly do better, or because they get to appear on Entourage and Bill doesn't. When you think about it, it's rather high - schoolish, but again, bloggers write about what interests them. Silly things such as editors making you be focused on a consistent storyline are non - existent. You want your midweek column to be about the apparent #46th best sports movie of all time? Great. You want to follow that up with a 'mail - it - in' mailbag? Cool. Whatever your fancy is or depending on what 4th - rate reality show you watched last night, there goeth you with your writing.

It's a 'unique' writing style because, as Bill himself point out in this column, the tools are available now to be able to follow sports and other entertainment information much more closely now without ever leaving your living room. So, it's unique in the sense that those "It" scooter things were unique - no one had made one before. This, however, doesn't necessarily make it worthwhile.

But as has been mentioned, Billy does know his NBA, and that makes him worthwhile to me personally. On this score the blogger's interests coincide with mine, fortunately enough for me. The name - dropping, studio - pandering, frat - boy kitsch is just part of the package, unfortunately.

Clever username asks how long will it be before Bill is back from his next venture (screenwriting and / or scriptwriting), to return to his blogging ways. Well, take a look at how long he lasted writing for Kimmel. Not long at all. Remember, this is a guy who went on at least a half - year tantrum about how sportswriting awards aren't fair, obviously insinuating his own Great Talents weren't being accorded the proper respect. So we know he can overvalue his own skill level. I'd say two or three scripts, max, before he's beating down ESPN's (or some lower - tiered cousin's) doors to get back in the game. But you never know. Hollywood is big on the frat - boy schtick; Bill just might have a future franchise on his hands if he somehow lands the screenwriting job for "National Lampoon XX: Hot Chicks Take Mars." His style would do well with the puerile fare that Tinsel Town is putting out these days, so you never know, he just might be able to stick in the screenwriting game.

But I wouldn't put any money on that action, even (or especially) if Bill himself advised me to. Ask SportsGal, she could give you better odds.

 

Unless of course you want to read a column from last week or later.

 

The game did not happen yet. The game will happen tomorrow. Simmons is supposing that the Knicks will will come back from 22-points down by running the same play 27-times. It is hyperbolic prediction.

 

RoSki, that was faaaaaaaaaaabulous.

Six quick points about Bill.

1. I read him regularly.

2. He has insulted me personally.

3. We need to stop pretending that what he does is in any way related to what we do, and stop taking the bait every time he whines about traditional media.

4. It's hilarious that Bill continues to be bitter about not getting his chance in traditional media, yet also wants to strut around like Mick Jagger and let us know how much smarter he was for "thinking outside the box." You can't have it both ways, buddy. You're never going to make into Best American Sports Writing, Bill. You're just not. You can stomp your feet, and throw little tantrums, and you and J-Bug can curse the heavens, and make jokes about sports writers wiping food on their shirt, but it still won't get you in the book. I know that's eating you up inside, but you need to get over it. You make enough money to buy my house three times over. Just enjoy your success. Stop trying to be Bob Dylan when you're quite obviously Matchbox 20. What you do is not genius, but it can be very entertaining. You're rich! You're successful! You have a loyal following! Get over it!

5. Bloggity Bloggers need to stop for just a second every now and then and realize that every newspaper story is not written for the obsessive compulsive fan who wants to crunch numbers and bitch for three hours on a message board every time the team's middle reliever blows a save in mid-June. These people are going to do that regardless, and they are an important part of the readership we should do our best to enlighten and inform, but they are not the only people reading the paper, even if they feel that way in their minds. Message boards and blogs are echo chambers. The people who post on SonsOfSamHorn may hate the Globe's and the Herald's Red Sox coverage, but that doesn't mean it's awful or that the beat writers aren't doing their jobs. You have to strike a balance between fans who care, but don't weep and lose their hair every time Terry Francona doesn't make a defensive substitution in the 8th inning of a tied ballgame on the road, and those who rage over this kind of thing.

6. It would be funny to watch bloggers -- specifically the ones out there who are always ranting about how much traditional media sucks -- try to do what they do without someone doing all the leg work for them. On the surface, it might feel like the same old questions and the same old boring press conferences, take it away entirely, and writing about Tom Brady's facial expressions over and over would get old real quick.

 

That gets an amen from this corner.

 

Antoinette does indeed want to get into the screenwriting industry. And he would find it much to his liking. When Charlie Kaufman, the best one we've got, can't even retain his original ending on Eternal Sunshine...

 

I'd not heard that. What did Kaufman want to happen at the end?

 

"Let them eat crab cakes."

So would that make SportsJournalists.com a collective Robespierre?

 

http://althouse.blogspot.com/2004/03/original-eternal-sunshine-ending.html

 

He would have us all drink chowder, washed down with the 0.8 proof his columns pack.