Things that irk you......

Anyone who names their pet after a Star Wars character or a X-Men character or a Pixar character outside of Finding Nemo.

Or anyone who names a pet Pixar.

Comemeer, Han!

Vaaaader!

That's my cat, Mystique. And there's the other one, Leia.

We just bought Pixar at a farm upstate.

 

I thought Pixar went to a farm upstate?

 

Companies that don't let you know when a job has been filled and never contact you to let you know they hired someone else. What the fuck is up with that? I take the time to write a cover letter and submit an application, they acknowedge the application, and then you never hear anything. Not even a form email. This never used to happen. Now it happens with about 50-75 percent of job applications. Why is that? I've been steadily applying for job openings for about a year and this is the state of things.

 

Sorry, but Greedo is a great name for a pet

 

None of that is half as bad as naming your kid Apple.

 

They probably said don't worry about it, just send a gift. You should show up just to stick it to them. Be sure to wear Timberlands painted black.

 

A palmetto bug announcing its presence by crawling across your ear.

(Please note I'm borrowing this thread instead of starting a new one called "Things that freak you the fuck out")

 

That time gap is an opportunity. For example, you can ask a female cashier if she goes to B&N.

 

My wife's fitness app gives you your pace after each mile. After the first mile it announces your mile time then gives you your split pace which is just your mile time over again. I don't know why the code writers didn't put in a line that reads "if mile equals one then no 'split pace.'"

 

Questionable fundraisers.

A Facebook friend from college I haven't seen in two decades and who lives over an hour away sent me an invite for a fundraiser next week. Here are the details, verbatim:

"Taking donations for a cat that had a plugged bladder. My friend needs help paying the bill. Will be having hot dogs and a drink for any donation."

 

Just tell me what the cat looks like and I'll bring a new one.

Problem solved. Can't sue a dead cat.

 

No effing sh*t.
A woman I went to high school with lived on a farm outside Sacramento. Her little dog -- a 13-year-old pomeranian -- got attacked by a coyote or something a couple of years ago. She set up gofundme to beg for money for the vet bill. A couple of months later, a FB thread is started to get ideas for our next reunion. She suggests a cruise, which would probably triple the price of a normal reunion. Then a couple of weeks ago, her dog got sick and she put up another gofundme to help with vet expenses. A week later, she is posting about how much fun she is having partying in Lake Tahoe. A couple of days ago she is back with a reminder that she still is seeking money for her dog's vet bills. Today, she posted that she got a non-profit to donate $250 and now the surgery can take place. If you can't afford to take care of your pets, don't own pets.