Things that irk you......

Slow golfers...oh yeah. Especially the really good slow golfers. Very especially the really good golfers who are slow and get deeply bent out of shape when they have a bad hole or two. Love those guys. The whole course is their own little private proving ground.

Imagine going to a public swimming pool and having some guy pace the high board for 4 minutes because he fancies himself a near-scratch diver. Then he has a bad dive, and, upon surfacing, proceeds to pound the water with his fist.

They'd toss that guy out of the pool.

 

Allowing any basketball team to call a timeout in the final two minutes.
Better yet, five minutes. Play ball. Let's see what you've got in crunch time.

 

Just. Say. No.

Same with cashiers at Lowe's or whatever asking for a phone number. "No."

I say "no" all the time and don't feel bad about it one bit.

 

When Barnes and Noble asks you if you're a preferred member every fucking time you buy something and when you say no, they tell you much you would have saved and ask if you want to sign up . Then they ask for your
Email address as if that's normal and you're forced to say you don't want to give it. All this bc you wanted to buy a fucking magazine.

 

Yeah, same here.

Also: "I gave yesterday." ... Or: "Done that already."

Anything like that cuts 'em off right away.

 

Almond milk. Neither milk nor almond juice (almonds don't have juice). A more accurate name would be almond flavored imitation milk.

 

Only. The inability of writers to understand where to place that word.

If you think "I only drank three beers" or "He only got one hit" is correct, you're part of the problem.

Where should I use "only" in my sentence?

 

Or do this:

 

C'mon, people, be creative.
When I get the "Can I get a phone number?" request, I always oblige, usually with my area code and then the seven digits from the Tommy Tutone hit of the early 1980s: 867-5309. I've also given them the fax number at the office, and sometimes I'll just make up seven numbers.

 

I only agreed once, and refused to fill out the little card. Next time Haywood Jablome will be recognized for his charity.

 

People who walk across the opening to parking garages as you're about to turn in. They never look, and they never care.

 

There could be a whole thread on golf. Here's two reasons I try to avoid playing on weekends, when it's always backed up:

1. Players in front of us, off the fairway, at least 250 from the green waiting to hit because they think they can reach; or

2. Players behind us in the fairway who literally fire at the green the instant we put the flagstick back in the hole. You can wait five seconds for us to walk off the green, folks.