This really f*cking sucks

KY: Considering where Sarah is now, I'm sure she'd be the first to tell you to quit beating yourself up.

She knows what's in your heart, my friend.

 

I hope she does.

It just sucks not being able to tell her face to face, ya know?

 

KY: Take it from the guy who came home from a 5 a.m. meeting to find his mother had died 45 minutes earlier -- she knows.

Here's what helps me -- when I hit my knees each day, I make sure Mom knows.

God bless you, my friend.

 

Great advice here. Before you go to sleep tonight, say a prayer or two.

 

i know i shouldn't be doing this to myself, but i can't help it.

 

Goddamn, Beej. Ain't that the fucking truth. Helluva post. I could have told the same story, different names and backgrounds.

Don't beat yourself up, KY. Life really does get in the way sometimes, and that's just universal. So is death. We've all been there, man. Nothing makes it easier, but beating yourself up doesn't help her or you.

Sorry for your loss. I lost an old teacher and neighbor last week. Know exactly how you're feeling right now.

 

Someone once said this about Mark Twain characters: He and I know the same people. He just calls them by different names. On some level, that's true of all of us.

If Sarah were alive today, she'd tell you not to beat yourself up over it, KY. I'm totally convinced of that. I'm sure she's trying to align whatever she needs to for you to feel some comfort and peace in these trying times.

This reminds me, I'd better get back in touch with my best friend. Even though he's almost young enough to be my son, I've confided stuff in him that I haven't even told my parents. I love him like a brother. Thank God we're both on Facebook.

I'm very sorry to hear about Sarah's loss. Sounds like her presence really enriched your life.

 

KY, I'm so sorry for you and for Sarah's family and other loved ones. Take care of yourself and, as others have said, please don't be too hard on yourself.

 

There is a small candle sending its heavenly light her as we speak.

 

Damn, KY. I'm sorry for your loss.

It really is too easy to lose touch like that, but I agree with the others. She wouldn't want you beating yourself up this way. I'm sure she knew that you cared for her and that is the important thing.

Also, this may sound funny, but you have done something productive about it with this thread. I'm sure a lot of posters are doing exactly what I'm about to do -- getting in touch with people they care about, but somehow let slip out of contact.

I also have a friend like Sarah, though perhaps a bit more like the relationship BYH described with his friend, right down to reconnecting through Facebook. As soon as I'm done writing this post, I'm getting in touch wwith her, just to be sure she is ok. I'm guessing a few other people will do the same after reading your story about Sarah. We can all use reminders to make the time for a phone call or an email to somebody we care about. Thank you for that, KY.

 

KY, I'm really sorry for your loss. So far as not being able to tell her face to face ... I lost my brother in 2007. And every so often, out of the blue, I will just say aloud, "I miss you, Mike." I know he already knows, but there's something powerful about saying it aloud. So maybe you'd find some comfort in just finding a peaceful place and having a conversation with Sarah.

 

Sorry for your loss KY. Thoughts and prayers to her family.