This songs matters to me, because: (your explanation here)

Wow. Just. Wow.

Incredibly moving story Diabeetus.

 

Yeah, same here. After reading Diabeetus' post, I was going to find the ovation pic myself. That's an unbelievable story.

 

I will bump it again merely by saying that this is the greatest thread ever on this site.

 

Beetus, so glad your sister was there for you. May your parents one day feel comfortable sticking a Christmas card of you and your significant other on their refrigerator. Thanks so much for that moving and difficult story.

'chick, now that you've found peace, may you find joy and happiness. Thank you as well.

Keep 'em coming, folks.

 

Just wanted to say thanks to everybody who's said such kind things both on the thread and in pms. I promise I'm working on getting back to you all. As a follow up to the previous story, this one's more about the reconciliation.

Following that incident with my mom, I didn't call home and ignored any incoming calls for almost a month. The only reason I went home over Halloween weekend was that I knew she wouldn't be there. My friend told me he'd keep his phone by his side and could be there in 5 minutes if I did run into any trouble.

Anyway, I got home that Friday and my dad was home alone this time; brother and sister were out at some friend's party. We watched some old corny movies...pretty sure it was the Karloff version of Frankenstein. We talked about how school was going and what all I had been up to since we didn't get the chance to last time I was home.

Out of nowhere in our conversation, he asked me if I was gay. I completely freaked out, not knowing what I would do if he got angry with me. I was more scared about losing funding for school because I don't know what I would have done if I wasn't with my friends. I couldn't say yes this time, not after what had happened before with my mom, who I thought would take it much better than he would.

"No. Why?" I asked him. My mom told me she wouldn't tell him, so I didn't think he knew anything outside of what he thought were just rumors circulating the high school. He went off to another topic without pressing the issue, and I relaxed my grip on my phone thinking I had dodged the bullet.

We talked about our football picks (we were in an NFL pickem league) and the season for awhile, as Blade came on TV. Again, out of nowhere, he asked me if I was gay.

Fear raced through my mind, but common sense told me that he had to already know if he was bringing it up again. And if he knew and hadn't done anything crazy yet, he probably wasn't going to. Staring ahead at Wesley Snipes obliterating people, I said yes.

He said that it was OK, and that he knew I wouldn't choose to be something I wasn't. He told me that I was still his son and still made him proud, no matter what. And I collapsed like a 5-year-old in his arms, sobbing out of confusion and relief and utter disbelief of what had just happened.

When I was finally able to calm down and get collected, he told me he had been seeing a psychologist about it. I didn't ask how he knew, just happy for his acceptance. He told me that he wanted me to talk to the guy, just to make sure everything was fine. I knew I was, but since he had taken such big strides from where he was, I figured I could do that to appease him. Why not go in, tell him about myself, get the all-clear and head home happy? We set up an appointment for me over winter break, and I had a great rest of the weekend.

Things were still bad with my mom, but what happened with my dad made us closer than we had ever been in our lives. I called him with the frequency I had used to call my mom to let him know how things were going. The last month and a half of the semester went by fairly quickly, and I was home for break.

The trip to the psychologist turned out to be more than I bargained for. The guy turned out to be one of those pseudo-psych nut jobs. He asked me to tell my story, and I did, but at the end of it, he asked me if I knew that homosexuality was a choice like it was some inarguable fact that I hadn't been informed of yet.

The smartass side of me really wanted to come out, but I was civil and told him I disagreed. He then offered the following as proof:

-Hundreds of men and women become straight each year after they think they're homosexuals. How could this be possible if this were an orientation rather than a choice?
-Biologically, the species would die off if the population converted to homosexuality. The lack of reproduction capability shows that homosexuality is not natural.
-There are no significant bodies of work/studies that proved homosexuality to be an orientation rather than a choice.
-He also asked if I was religious, and if so, how I was handling it. I'm guessing a biblical reference would have followed if I had said yes.

Waiting for him to finish, I formulated my retort while seething about again being betrayed by my parents. This guy was obviously some kook out to promote the "God can make you straight" camp. When he finished, I was ready to go:

I asked him if he also thought being heterosexual was a choice, since thousands of people come out each year as homosexual. With his logic, since people chose to be of a different sexual preference, nothing was a true orientation. I told him that I wasn't the entire population, and that I wasn't advocating that the entire population turn gay. I know how reproduction works, and I know there are millions of children in the world looking of a loving home through adoption. I see no biological conflict with a portion of the population varying from the rest. As for studies/tests, who's to say what will or won't be proved in the future? But to completely discredit such a large percentage of the population because you don't have the answer now is asinine. Trusting my instincts, I asked him if he was a religious man. He told me that yes, he was a practicing Christian. Glad I was right, I asked him how he knew he was a Christian. Thousands of people leave Christianity every year. There is no biological proof that Jesus walked the Earth. And there was definitely no body of work or study that could prove the existence of God. So how do you have faith in Christianity?

Sputtering, he started mumbling something incoherent. Not waiting for him to get on a roll again, I told him I was gay because my heart told me so. He knew he was Christian because his heart told him so. And I pushed back my chair, thanked him for a wonderfully informative hour and went out to my car.

Feeling more betrayed and more separated from my family than I ever had, I drove home and barricaded myself in my room for most of the rest of break. I didn't know how I could ever trust my parents again after what they pulled and felt alone, despite the overwhelming support of a few friends. It's a harsh reality when you realize that your family might not truly love you.

Dad eventually caught wind of what happened and blew up at me for not giving the psychologist a chance and for being what he considered rude to a respected professional. I didn't care. I was done here.

The next summer, I rented a place for three months with a friend and went back to live in the dorms again with my best friend. I never went home, and often got into fights on the phone. They tried forcing me to listen to their ways by cutting off my cell phone from the family plan and deleting my AOL account that I had been using for years as my personal e-mail and im. I subverted them, setting up an aim account and establishing my own cell phone line. I had my school e-mail, so they failed.

Battles like those would continue until around winter break my junior year. I went home for the obligatory Christmas Eve through the day after Christmas. Long enough to pretend things were OK with the extended family and then get out of town again. My dad and I had somewhat reconciled after he finally gave me enough of a chance to explain what happened at the office. He didn't know it was going to be like that and had given me one of those half-apologies. Things with my mom were still bad, though. On my way out the door, she said something I hadn't heard from her since that initial emotional beatdown: I love you.

Not turning around, I said, "right" and proceeded to my car. I could hear her start to cry again as the garage door closed. It was going to take a lot more than just that to heal from the deep cuts she inflicted on me. But on that ride back to school, I just kind of quietly cried. I didn't know what the hell was going on or what it was going to take for me to move past what had happened. How do you repair a relationship with your parents after they so cruelly betray you?

Anyway, about a month later, I was messing around with music stuff on the Internet and read that the Dixie Chicks had a song that was scheduled to come out in the near future. As a shameless downloader, I looked around until I found it, and gave it a listen.

"Not Ready To Make Nice"

The incredibly personal lyrics with the emotional singing and dramatic orchestra behind them instantly hit me. This was how I was felt, put perfectly into a song. And I think hearing it helped me finally start letting go of my anger/frustration.

Things with both of my parents have improved since then. I sat them down and told them exactly how everything they said and did hurt me and told them. They apologized for what they said, and told me that they were working on becoming more comfortable with the idea. At my graduation, they asked me to bring my boyfriend of two years to dinner with me (unprompted) and invited him to sit with them during the ceremony. Things went well, and afterward, they told me he was very polite and seemed like a normal guy.

It wasn't much, but it's at least a start.

 

Diabeetus, thanks for sharing your two stories. I'm glad things are starting to get better.

 

Good for you, sir.

 

I think we have dual candidates for Post Of The Year here.

Great stories Diabeetus. Wonderful.

 

Wow, Diabeetus, that was powerful stuff. I can recall meeting a co-worker in college who turned out to be one of my best friends, and him telling me about being gay. I asked him when he knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that he was gay. Without missing a beat, he looked at me and said, "About the same time you figured out you were straight." His answer hit me like a ton of bricks, and built the foundation to a friendship that is going strong nearly 10 years later.

With that being said, here's my song/story.

I was a junior in high school, and I had two tickets to a Tim McGraw concert. Being too shy to really do anything with the extra ticket, I assumed I'd just go alone and just meet up with my friends and their dates. The day before the concert, a girl in my journalism class, Nicole, asked me what I was doing that weekend. Her question shocked the hell out of me, since the only reason I was within talking distance to this girl was because we were seated in alphabetical order.

She was, until that point, the most naturally beautiful girl I'd ever seen, and her beauty was no secret. She'd been voted class favorite every year and was off-and-on with some kid on the football team. Meanwhile, I was the kid who sat in the back and hoped not to get noticed because I didn't think I had much to say.

When I told her I had two tickets to a concert and no one to go with, she casually replied that she had no plans, and she would go with me if no one else wanted the ticket. Needless to say, no one else was told about the ticket. When I showed up with her on my arm, heads turned. We spent the night talking and dancing, and during the song "Everywhere" she turned to me and told me I'd make some girl really lucky one day.

It was the best compliment, and ego-boost, I've ever received. So, when I hear that song on the radio, I can't help but think of that one night when everything seemed perfect.

My story is nowhere as deep or significant as the others posted here, but it's mine. And, I'm thankful.

 

That's still a damn good story, sir.

 

I'd just like to reiterate what's been said many times, this thread is amazing. I'm excited every time I see it's been pushed back to the top with a new story. I just got done reading both of 'Beetus' stories and I thank you so much for sharing those beautiful tales.

 

If stories were all the same, they'd be boring. You had a really good one, too millsey. Don't knock yourself