Tiger Woods in Car Accident

My question: Does Tiger keep his clubs in the garage like everybody else?

 

Settle down, everyone. I've got it all figured out.



Tiger's brother: My brother's gonna kill us! He's gonna kill us! He's gonna kill you and he's gonna kill me, he's gonna kill us!
Jeff Spicoli: Hey man, just be glad I had fast reflexes!
Tiger's brother: My brother's gonna shit!
Jeff Spicoli: Make up your mind, dude, is he gonna shit or is he gonna kill us?
Tigers brother: First he's gonna shit, then he's gonna kill us!
Jeff Spicoli: Relax, all right? My old man is a television repairman, he's got this ultimate set of tools. I can fix it.

 

Yeah ... she signed an endorsement deal with Callaway.

 

Tiger's accident is proof that the world needs auto mechanics.

 

Am I missing something? Tiger hits the fire hydrant in his driveway, then runs into a tree and he needed to be rescued from his SUV? I've seen the pictures of his driveway, and there's no way he could have been going more than, what, 10 mph before he hit the hydrant? How the hell did he get hurt?

My buddy and I used to take out his old beat-up Chevette and tear that thing up, running into all kinds of things; pretty much treating it like a demolition derby car. And we never got injured. Tiger was in a big-ass SUV, hits a fire hydrant in his driveway, and needs to be pulled out of the car?

Someone please help me with this.

 

I'm beginning to think the golf club is a key clue.

 

ALERT: Double Down is Balloon Boy.

 

Ding Ding Ding. Tiger was running from her hot ass.

 

Jim Nantz's ex is no longer the most dateable woman on the planet.

 

Ian Woodsnam called. He was his extra club back from El Tigre.

 

Seems pretty clear now that is was a Sasquatch upside the head.