Tiger Woods in Car Accident

Well done Charlie Pierce.. made me want to read more.

 

http://www.usmagazine.com/celebritynews/news/hear-tiger-panic-to-mistress-my-wife-may-be-calling-you-2009212

Fantastic!!!!

 

This is just going to get worse for Tiger.

 

I don't have a link handy, but the New York Post is also naming a third chick this morning, some Vegas chick.

This is going to be a looooong day for the Woods family.

NYP headline: Coming out of the Woodswork. Not bad.

 

I wonder how easy it would be for one of these TMZ people -- or any reporter, I guess -- to dig up Tiger's pre-nup?

 

Top 10 tips to do when playing a bunker shot/cheating on your wife.

10. Do not close the club face. Keep it open.
9. Get a second cell phone and never use your real name when leaving voice mails.
8. The prettier it looks, the harder it will be to play out of when you get caught in it. (works for both sand traps and mistresses)
7. Do not land the ball at the pin. Give room for a release.
6. Hookers are less likely to talk than waitresses.
5. Do not get greedy when hitting from the fairway bunkers.
4. Never panic when in a tight spot. (good for sand and cheating on your wife)
3. Steve Williams can carry only one bag at a time.
2. Barkley and Jordan are not good role models. (works for both golf and women)
1. Having a problem with "Strange" might not mean Curtis.

 

Wow. That sounds a LOT like Tiger. If that's not him, then whoever it is does a dead-on impression. Maybe it's Frank Caliendo!

Until Tiger provides a believable explanation for how he managed to wreck his car while pulling out of his driveway -- and where he was going at 2:30am -- then I choose to believe the writing on the wall.

 

The story's about his banging chicks he met at The Bank nightclub in Las Vegas -- that's the same club (then called Light) that I saw him dirty dancing with a hot blonde he later left with back in 2005. He must use that place as his personal, um, Tiger Lair?

 

I'm surprised that Tiger -- as image conscious as he is -- would be out in a public place grinding on some drunk vegas skank for everyone to see.

 

Even if Tiger humped 100 bimbos...remind me again, why do we care?

Is it really that interesting?

IMO, it makes him almost more boring than he already was.

 

The reckless driving call by the Florida State Police is an accurate one.

 

Just because the FHP declares no wrong-doing other than careless or reckless driving does not mean Elin wasn't hitting power fades into the car. Without talking to him, it's awfully tough for them to determine that there was no foul play at hand.

In other words, don't believe a word out of the pigs' mouth.