Top-five things chicks don't get about us

With all due respect, the pregnancy is an extenuating circumstance. The rules of household decorum should be set for normal circumstances, not special circumstances.
I would make a lot of concessions during the GFs pregnancy, but after the baby's born the circumstances reset.

 

You can buy a programmable toilet seat and build those defaults in.

 

Jesus. If the four of us ever get together for dinner or whatever, it's going to be a fucking SHOW!

Insert Bart Scott.

 

Wait, after all this time I'm leaning toward ditching the jean shorts, and now cargo pants are out, too?

Apropos of nothing, I thought Pulp Fiction was vastly overrated. But I think the kid from The Client would've been great in it.

 

My wife doesn't get my love of soccer. She just doesnt understand my committment to sport.

 

Then your vigilance on the issue of where you put your behind should be applied accordingly.

While being pregnant entitles you to many special considerations, it's irrelevant in the case of tush meets toilet. Take responsibility for what you sit on. That's all I'm saying.

RE: fashion. I say live and let live. For me, cargo shorts -- I don't get the angst. Sandals -- for me, only if they have heel straps. Flip-flops -- no. Crocs -- double-no.

 

See, I personally don't like sandals.
I was anti-zoris through my 20s, but after living on Guam I adapted. however, over the past few years I've been wearing zoris less and less.
And I've got cargo shorts and non-cargo shorts. I wear whatever pops out of the drawer.
I dress well when the situation requires it, and then no shorts.
When the situation does not require it, I'm a slob.

 

He looked ridiculous. It was an old man shirt, too. A plaid old man shirt and red mesh athletic shorts accompanied by gray tube socks. I would have been less embarrassed if he showed up looking like Mary Poppins.

 

Re: the toilet seat

I appreciate the special pregnancy concessions, but I don't think the toilet seat falls into that particular category. Any woman who wakes up groggy in the middle of the night and stumbles into the bathroom runs the risk of ending up in the toilet. Nobody is at ass risk if the seat is simply left down. Again, the consequences of leaving the seat up include bodily harm and germ warfare. This far outweighs the simple task of simply putting the seat in the appropriate position. Lives are at stake.

 

Mr. Lugs is, and has always been, not only a seat put-back-down guy, but also often a lid put-back-down guy. I don't like it when he puts the lid down because I don't like to touch it. But in 15+ years of living together, he has ONLY ONCE left the seat up.

Last year, a couple of days before I gave birth to my second baby, in the middle of the night, he inexplicably forgot to put the seat back down. Never happened before. So I stumble into the bathroom, mostly asleep, carrying 10 pounds of baby boy, 5 pounds of placenta, gallons of fluids, and yes, FAT ... and I throw the full weight of it all down onto a seatless toilet. I then have jerk back up all 200+ pounds of me. It hurt. I cried. It felt like skin ripped. I had a contraction.

Don't do it, folks.

 

I have to imagine that the anger I would experience from a wet seat would be of the same level as from a fall-in.
I've never experienced it.
The women with whom I've lived, including the current one, don't seem to distinguish between grades of offenses. They seem to experience the same extremes of umbrage regardless of the cause.

As I said, I'm willing to put the seat down in return for some other household concession.
Since women don't make concession, the battle continues.

 

What the hell is a zori?

And Care Bear, if Jesus sandals are out, what are we supposed to wear with shorts?