Top-five things chicks don't get about us

Because we have never met (AFAIK)!

 

Masturbation?

 

Every Sperm is Sacred!



Every sperm is sacred,
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

 

Now I know why I am still single. Not "man" enough to be married.

I wouldn't lift the seat or stand to pee, because I don't want to constantly have to clean the splash off the wall. That's just nasty. Plus, sitting down gives me extended reading time with no distractions. Until my feet fall asleep.

Football? Baseball? Basketball? Hockey? Don't give a shit. Never watch.

Beer? Looks like piss, smells like piss, probably tastes like piss. No thanks. Water will do just fine. I don't need a buzz to have fun.

I drive like a Driver's Ed instructor. With a foul mouth.

I wear what I want, when I want. Fashion is for pussies.

Even though HGTV stands for He's Gay TV, I watch it for the hot chicks.

Boob lovers? Stuck on their mothers. Trannies can have big boobs. No thanks.

I do enjoy blow-em-up films and farting, though, so I am not completely off the reservation.

This thread is great entertainment

 

Well, He did say in some old, dusty book: "Go forth and multiply."

 

The guy doesn't want to have kids, and he wants to be a pious catholic.
That's cool.

 

If he indeed doesn't jerk off, I applaud him. I hope, though, that he changes his stance at like age 50 or so because I think it would be hilarious for the dude to accidentally discover masturbation and say "Shit! This is what I've been missing out on?"

 

I don't know of anyone who counts that as sex.

 

good, I was worried you might explode if you were to accidentally rub up against a pole, climb rope or something.

 

But what does he think of when he does it? Obviously he's repulsed at the idea of sex before marriage and sex without the intent to procreate.

Dude must jerk off to Little House on the Prairie or something.

 

Oh yeah, nighthawk?

 

Michael Landon did have a nice smile..... ;D