Top-five things chicks don't get about us

The Catholic Church isn't a buffet, you can't choose which tennents to follow and which don't work for you.

Then how about getting with the program? Why don't you jump on the team and come on in for the big win?

 

BAWWWWHAHAHAHAHAH

 

No kidding. This is why I'm choosing not to get married. That's the only way that I can follow the Church's position and be happy myself.

 

They are plenty of other positions you could try and be even happier ...

 

Doubtful at best. Those all have some chance of leading to children, and if that happens, my happiness is shot to hell.

 

Reverse Cowgirl makes me happy.

 

No one has ever gotten pregnant from Missionary Anal and/or a Blumpkin.

Just sayin'.

 

I had to look up the second one, and I wish I didn't. Both of those are disgusting.

 

This should be standard knowledge...
Didn't we cover the fact that journalists need to have a dirty mind so nothing bad gets into a story or headline already?

 

There are other people on the desk who can have dirty minds. I'm happier without that information.

 

In that case, I was apparently born for this job.

 

When then you shouldn't look up the Dirty Sanchez, the Spiderman, the Strawberry Shortcake, the Eiffel Tower and/or the Cleveland Steamer.

FWIW though, I think only one of those could get someone pregnant.