Top-five things chicks don't get about us

And what's the deal with airline food, seriously?

Also, the DMV is slow.

 

The problem with chicks is that they think like chicks instead of dudes. AMIRITE????!!!!!

 

That I don't really care what color the rug/wall/chair is.

 

An addendum: That walking from store to store with nothing specific in mind to purchase is pure torture. TORTURE. If you don't know what you are shopping for, then whatever you find is going to be pure junk that will only add to the clutter.

 

Sweetheart, do these cheesburgers and beers make me look fat?

 

1. Yes, I really do want to watch 10 hours straight of football... every Sunday.

2. Farting always is, always was and always will be funny.

3. From the day we are born, the female breast is man's favorite part of the body. That pretty much never changes.

4. Going for a walk is not fun... unless we have a specific destination. And that destination should involve food and/or beer.

5. Yes, I do want to watch Goodfellas again. And Shawshank, and My Cousin Vinny, and The Godfather, and...

 

What I don't get...

With regard to sports...

The desire to watch meaningless NBA and meaningless MLB (i.e. after team has been mathematically eliminated from playoffs)

The uncanny recall of what number player X wore. I watch sports and see faces, bodies, etc. He sees numbers.

Other...

Love of gadgets/electronics

I used to not understand the lack of ability to sit still... but after having a son, I'm beginning to understand. You people are hardwired that way.

 

And "Beaches," "Steel Magnolias" and other movies were never going to be nominated, much less win, any award for best movie. Yet you watched, by the millions.

Much has been covered; one that has not been:

I can easily go an entire day without saying a word, or not having to interact with another person, and be perfectly happy.

And there is nothing wrong with a good snot rocket. Nothing whatsoever.

 

College football fans don't get how you could like IU football so I'm not sure this should be on the list.

 

"Sweetheart, do these jeans make me look fat?"

"No dear, your big butt makes you look fat. What about me?"

"The mere act of someone looking at you makes you look fat."


Also, almost no woman I've been around has understood the awesomeness of setting off your own fireworks, the bigger the better.