Top-five things chicks don't get about us

1. Why some guys insist on calling us "chicks."

2., 3., 4., 5. — Lather, rinse, repeat.

 

1. Why they expect us to behave as a partner in a relationship. If I want to walk in, drink, and go to bed without even looking at it, well ... shut up, bitch.
2. Why I would hyphenate "top five" when it's a list and not a modifier.
3. Why I complain about being misunderstood instead of a misanthrope.
4. Why they think their opinions matter to us.
5. Why being a dick isn't a choice ... I was born this way.

 

Pick it up.

 

Should I go with red or blue shoes?

Red. Wait, why are you putting on the blue ones?

You're always wrong.

 

Some real good stuff on here.

One to add -- journalist/looser division:

1. Why we leave stacks of half-read or not-read-yet newspapers, magazines, random printouts around the house. (Because six months from now, we'll want to read something we saved -- but you tossed it on the recycling truck).

 

Tuesday: "This fabric is a little tight on me. Take those doughnuts away."

Wednesday: Her: "Where are the doughnuts?"
Me: "Sitting on my desk at work."
Her: "I said HELP ME with them. I didn't mean for you to take all of them. Bring them back."

??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ???

 

In the interest of absolute truth, this thread should be retitled "Why I'll Die Alone."

 

Well, in her defense, English isn't her first language, right?

 

No, but she's a former English teacher. She just speaks woman, and I'm not close to being fluent in woman.

 

Aramaic is easier.

 

1.) My pursuit to find the best whiskey in the world
2.) My love for beer
3.) Why I enjoy sitting in front of a smoker for 10 hours on a Saturday ... when no games are on, of course.
4.) My desire to keep pouring money into a $25,000 motorcycle
5.) How I can play Angry Birds for hours

 

I'm bogarting this, but I'm not sure who said it: There's not a man alive who hasn't sat on the throne reading until he couldn't feel his feet.