Top-five things chicks don't get about us

I must be very lucky because my wife (of six weeks) laughed as hard as I did at most of these when I read them to her. And she likes the Stooges but doesn't get reading while poopling. Oh well, nobody's perfect, eh?

 

i have no doubt you are very lucky, but not because of the reasons you give. heck, if you can't be on the same page as your spouse on most of these issues six weeks in, i'd be greatly concerned.

give it a few years, a couple of kids and revisit this discussion. you'll find it greatly amusing; if your lovely bride does, too, congrats. but your answers will have changed mightily, i reckon.

 

When the sex stops, the marriage begins.

 

When I fly a plane, I don't want my flight attendants to be gay, or grannies or "grandes" - I want them to hook up with me and be hot. I don't want them to bitch about their lives - I mean, hell what are they there for? You think I fly planes for the money? Or that I enjoy being a pilot?
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/usa/8594542/Pilots-profane-tirade-about-cabin-crew-caught-on-tape.html

 

A few things Mrs. Albert doesn't get about me...

* I drive like I do because I want to get where I'm going TODAY.

* The reason I don't ask for directions is because I know where I'm going and I know how to get there before I leave the house.

* Farts are healthy and as much a sign of good digestion as a hearty belch.

* It is not an insult to say I'll watch anything on TV if it wears a number and sweats. Hell, they don't even have to wear a number.

 

I want to know more about this 'poopling.'
It sounds like it has to do with defecation, yet it seems to connote more fun.

 

This thread seems to perpetuate a lot of stereotypes. For the record:

1) Pulp Fiction rules. It knows no gender.
2) Farting is funny. Of course it is. There are places it isn't appropriate (the dinner table, perhaps) but otherwise, it's just a part of life.
3) Reading on the john is one of the great pleasures of life. We have a stack of Esquire and Entertainment Weekly just for that purpose.
4) Watching sports events that don't matter is no different than watching endless repeats of all incarnations of Law & Order.
5) Cargo shorts are just fine. JR lives in them.
6) I drive more aggressively and waaaaaay faster than JR.

 

Cool. Send her to Buffalo on the July 22nd weekend. You can come too. I guess.

 

Coward.

 

Actually we do. And we love you anyways.

 

I only had to read the first couple of posts on this thread to know that I love IJAG and waterytart a little more now. I will keep reading. I bet I get another girl crush before I reach the end.

 

Probably better for you. We obviously don't understand that men are anti-social assholes who marry for no reason at all since they're not interested in any actual conversation.