Transformers the Movie: Why God, why?

"Optimus Prime: James Gandolfini
Bumblebee: Dave Chapelle
Hot Rod: Bernie Mac
Ratchet: Ed Burns
Ironhide: Sean Connery
Hound: Vince Vaughn
Prowl: Ben Affleck (He needs the work).
Grimlock: Vin Diesel
Wheeljack: Danny Glover
Bluestreak: Chris Rock
Smokescreen: Toby McGwire
Sunstreaker: Jude Law
Cliffjumper: Matt Damon

Decepticons

Megatron: Al Pacino
Starscream: Ben Stiller
Soundwave: Phillip Seymour Hoffman
Thundercracker: Luke Wilson
Skywarp: Owen Wilson
Shockwave: Will Ferrell
Laserbeak: Julia Stiles, because she is a souless, no-talent skee-za."

Here's how it goes down:

Jude Law's agent: "Hey, Jude, got an easy part for you. Voiceover. Big movie for next summer."
Jude Law: "I'm listening."
Jude Law's agent: "I think I can get you Sunstreaker."
Jude Law: "You know how I feel about nudity."
Jude Law's agent: "No, no, the Autobot. Transformers movie. Great cast. I can get you 12th billing."
Jude Law: "Really?"
Jude Law's agent: "I'm thinking they go ensemble cast, and alphabetically, you'd be like ninth I think."
Jude Law: "I did Starscream in Summer Stock, you know? They talk money yet?"

 

I've never seen Optimus Prime's "movie death," but the bit on "Robot Chicken" where he dies from prostate cancer (it's actually a PSA) is fall-down hilarious.

 

I'd figure I'd chime in on this discussion...

I'll be honest, I was/am a Transformers loser fan-boy. I have over 60 vehicles/toys/figures and had 'wars' with my G.I. Joes and TMNT as a kid. I love the original movie and how it ties in with the original cartoon of the '80's. I love the idea of a live-action movie but cringed when I saw Bay's name next to it. I hope it doesn't suck but it probably will. Will I go to it? Hell-fucking-yes. Now just as long as the autobots and decepticons aren't butchered in regards to vehicles and such I'll be happy. Example: Optimus Prime better be one badass 18-wheeler and not a firetruck like he is in Armada.

 

I saw an interview, I think it was with Bay, saying Optimus Prime will be an 18 wheeler.

What the heck is Armada?

 

Attention! Attention!
Drunk and bored, I just found out the original voice of Optimus Prime, will also provide the voice in the new movie. Same for Megatron. How pimpin is that? There's hope yet.

 

And can we please, for the love of all that's decent, turn Megatron back into a gun!? Not that pansy-ass tank he's been relegated to? I can't believe a few dumb punks and jumpy cops did what took the Autobots centuries to do.
On another note, will Soundwave still be a tape recorder, or will they turn him into a CD player? And how on earth, in the cartoon, did he ever transform from a 6-inch wide tape recorder to a 15-foot tall robot? His legs must have been awfully stiff.

 

how about Soundwaves tapes, that were small enough to fit inside of him, but then transformed into these giant robots that could carry people.