Urinals

Not resting *on* it.



When you sit on one of these your dick presses up against the inside of the toilet. It's the spot that's always caked in piss and pubes.

 

Jesus Christ, sit further back!

 

Then you get into a problem of it dipping into the water...and THAT'S a no-no!

*shivers*

 

Fuck that. Padded toilet seats are penis death traps. They never stay up when you lift them, the weight slowly shifts forward, and you end up playing a game of beat the clock: Finish pissing in under 10 seconds, risk spraying the entire bathroom to keep the hammer of God from swinging down, or face a cock guillotine.
I will never have a padded toilet seat in my home.

 

Penis Death Traps would be a good name for an all-girl band.

 

This is the reason I come to SJ. My husband is going to love our luxurious new padded toilet seat when he gets home from work tomorrow!

 

When Songbird and spikechiquet hang out around the house, they really hang out around the house.

 

No penis-to-porcelain contact is practically Rule No. 1.

 

Come on now, it's a well-known fact my dick is no bigger than a week-old shriveled-up french fry.

That being said, here's a little clarification/explanation of the dick-in-bowl issue when using a public toilet:

.be

 

Should you come down with an unexplained STD and your significant other is grilling you for how you got it, the accidental peehole-tip-to-porcelain may be your only way to save yourself. Far better excuse than road beef.

 

Hell yes!

 

The part I felt awkward about was the black seat.