Urinals

Another issue with home urinals ... piss splatter and that demonic puddle of piss that pools under every urinal I've ever used.

I invariably do some sort of ridiculous hokey-pokey piss stance to avoid standing in that puddle of urine.

You want that in your house? Might as well just piss all over yourself.

 

That's why to-the-floor urinals are superior.

 

Jeff Pearlman's conundrum.

http://www.jeffpearlman.com/the-great-piss-dilema/

 

My answer would be to kick the seat up, take your piss, wash your hands and move on with life. Never touch someone else's waste. Unless a German film crew is rolling.

 

I just want to say hi to Jeff...since it's obvious this thread prompted him to "report" on this travesty!

 

I've noticed lately a lot of people here at work flush the urinal before they're done pissing. I don't get it.

Piss, flush mid-stream, keep pissing, don't flush before walking off.

Weird.

 

My question regarding the Perarlman scenario:
Why has it become the defacto setting to not lift the seat in the men's room?
It's not piss on the seat; it's 'Why have men stopped lifting the seat?'

I'll take your comments off the air.

 

People are lazy, and it's not their problem. I bet most of the men who don't lift the seat in public do so at home, so they don't have to clean up the mess. Or maybe it's because the women in the household have drilled it into them to put the seat down when they are done, and they just can't freaking remember to do it, so they take the easy way out.

 

Urinal games have been mentioned, but not urinal targets.

I saw this one at an air museum in New Mexico:



I usually aimed for her mouth or between her eyes.

A favorite among veterans, here it is on display in the world's best urinal design:

 

If you hit Jane at that angle, wouldn't you be pissing on yourself as well?

 

Depends on lots of variables: your dick height, target height, how far you are standing away, how forcefully you are wizzing.

Hanoi Jane is worth the effort.

 

I learned to lift the seat in college.
My suitmate - 300 lbs - would get up in the middle of the night and piss all over the god damned place. The seat was bad enough, but he'd pee in front, beside and behind the bowl. Nothing like stepping in piss - someone else's piss - in the morning.

My wife is the only female in the house. I rage when the kids pee on the seat.