Use A Condom -- Go To Hell

So everything else was on her?

Not really down the middle then, is it?

 

I'm not sure the Internets can contain the love I have for this rejoinder and its author.

Well played.

 

She didn't use anything else.

 

In wicked's defense, maybe they were those gold coin condoms. With the price of gold these days, that's like a home loan.

 

So no girl you've ever slept with has been on the pill? Seems kind of risky.

 

Well, that was their choice. I wasn't going to force the issue.

 

It's not forcing if their decision affects you long-term like that. That's just a healthy conversation, or a decision you make.

 

IJAG's convinced me of one thing:

The Federal government needs to institute a "Finish On Her Grille" program.

This will be cheaper than birth control and much, much more fun.

 

To clarify: I can not take credit for the entendre Zeke saw. It was not intended. I wish I could, but I can't.

 

You're just subconciously that funny?

That's damn depressing.

My point about the Federal program still stands. They need to start teaching kids about that in schools.

 

I can see the video in Health Ed. classes in 10 years.

THE SETTING:
50-cent video. I see a bunch of girls in a club all over a guy. He takes them all back to his place, and one by one, practices safe sex.
All over their faces.

VOICEOVER:
"Hi kids, I'm Travis Henry, running back for the Denver Broncos. Back when I was your age, I routinely found myself having unprotected sex with many, many partners. As a result, I had nine children with nine different women in seven different states. Needless to say, even with my $4.5 million a year salary, child support started getting out of hand.
"It caused me to smoke pot. A lot of pot. And while I was on a one-year sabbatical from the NFL, I started researching contraception. I tried to find women on the pill. But that didn't work. I tried condoms, but the Bush Administration office told me that was immoral.
"Instead they came up with an ingenious plan to keep everyone happy. You might have heard your friends talking about it.
"That's right: Finish on her grille. Take it from me, Travis Henry. And remember kids, it's easier to clean up her face than it is to clean up after a kid."

 

Wicked, I'm not personally picking on you, but I need to prove my point.

Let's be generous and say you're using five condoms a week. At Sam's Club a box of 40 will run you about $15 and will last you eight weeks. This means you need six and a half boxes per year for a grand total of $97.50. Split down the middle, your share is $48.75.

But your female partner is paying her $48.75 plus the cost of her annual pelvic exam, which is in the neighborhood of $150, not including tests or lab fees. If she's lucky and has health insurance, it will still run her about $40. This does not include time lost at work or childcare expenses due to the doctor's appointment.

In a year, you're out $48.75 and she's out anywhere from $89-$190.