Van Valkenburg on the bizarro of Adam Muema

I thought not mentioning mental illness was kind of elegant. Let the reader suss that out for themselves.

And I was the one wanting to make a Les Carpenter joke here but, alas, work has kept me away from the intertoobz today.

 

Did you consider playing up the pro day photo more to the front of the story?

I considered that the most interesting part of the story, and the reader had to wait to the end to discover it.

I know people here are hyper sensitive, it seems, to making writers a focal point of the story, but this story would have grabbed my attention more if it was lead with the photo and writing that the photo seems normal and is normal, but it is also very abnormal.

I am going to circle myself in red. Of the millions of Instagram photos, this one stood out to me and made me pause, laugh and shake my head. You might have the same reaction.

Then start the story.

You are a much better writer than I ever was, will be or am, but I would have enjoyed the story more as a reader with a hook to the picture early in the story.

Great work and thanks for openly sharing like this.

 

I agree with all of this, and it helps me sort of make my point about why I chose, ultimately, to have the story let you make your own decision. I think stories with "experts" weighing in generically about a person they've never met are bullshit. So I would have fought like heck to keep any "expert" voices out of the piece. The previous place I worked was obsessed with "experts" and to me it was a prime example of how little the editor of the paper (not the sports editor, but the guy running the place by the time I left) just didn't understand storytelling.

Certainly he seems like a classic case of schizophrenia, but I'm not sure as a writer I can just throw that out there, for either moral or legal reasons. And I think it's kind of a gray area whether you can let others do it in quotes too. My editor (the brilliant Eric Neel) and I talked a lot during this about how it wasn't a traditional profile. It wasn't attempting to be that, even from the first draft I wrote. It was a story of trying to find him and understand him, and what happened along the way. And it didn't have to end with closure or satisfaction or answers. Because those things, while cinematic, aren't all that true to real life.

It's a heartbreaking thing, what happened to him. He's not some character in a short story. He's a person. And I struggled with making sure that was clear in the piece.

To be frank, no. No disrespect meant, but to me the moment you realize he was literally there at Pro Day is the moment you realize exactly what's going on, just how weird this story is, and I think if you begin with it, two things happen:

1. The story becomes way too much about the writer. I'm gonna tell you a story about this photo! I think it's hard to know when to use first person, and when it ruins the piece, but I just don't think I would have felt comfortable beginning it in such a casual, show-off-y way, especially considering the gravity of what we're dealing with with Adam.

2. The tension in the story doesn't build to a "Holy bleep" moment if you start with knowing he was there. I think the backstory, like the blunt trauma to the head, helps you realize this isn't just some Andy Kaufman game. This is someone who isn't in the right place mentally.

Thanks to anyone who gave it a read. There are no right answers, I guess.

 

Reading this I downplayed the mental illness issues. I thought more of a Ricky Williams scenario.

The "mom" declined to talk? None of his relatives - close ones anyway - wanted to talk, having determined he's OK?

If there was mental illness a hint of that behavior would have been apparent to someone. The injury was a fractured orbital bone .. that's not really a brain trauma thing, so I'm not sure how much significance it deserves.

It's strange, that's for sure .. But it seems like he flipped a switch at pro day. No hint of this coming from those who appeared to know him.

I was also trying to think of other big-time college or pro athletes who experienced this sort of thing; joining a cult.

A good story, but a lot of holes .. no insight from the family. Or teammates; college or high school. Just coaches and a "confidant."
The image kids show adults and coaches can be different than the ones presented to friends, and teammates.

 

I'm still waiting for Drew Magary's take.

 

Between Tyrann Mathieu and now Adam Muema you are becoming a specialist in characters
that you never know what's going to happen next.

If I recall correctly you did not get to meet Mathieu either. Gut feel, did you
see any similarities between the two?

 

Thanks for responding. I would not have identified who took the photo until the last graphs.

The hook would have been just saying this us an Instagram photo of a crowd of people waiting for someone at a Pro Day. I'm here in red.... We were waiting for Adam.. Tell his story... Then hit the reader that Adam took the photo.

 

I mean, there are some. Both abandoned by birth mothers, both had very little relationship with their fathers, both raised by extended family, both obsessed with social media, and unable to tear themselves away from it. But Tyrann was angry all the time; Adam was pretty happy from what I can tell. Tyrann couldn't trust anyone, even his own family. LSU gave Tyrann unlimited chances to get his shit together. Muema never caused SDSU any problems. I think one was a case of a kid badly needing some distance from bad friends and time to mature, the other seems like a case of a chemical imbalance in his brain.

I will say that it's getting harder and harder for teenagers today to differentiate between what's real life, and what's part of your on-line world. Mathieu was honestly one of college football's first "Twitter stars." Muema barely received a sliver of the same attention. But I think both couldn't put down their phones, even when it clearly would have helped.

 

Based on his age, and his behavior, I'm not sure any mental illness he might have would be related to the baseball bat incident.

The real question would be if he was a marijuana user.

 

This was a well-written story, and my problem with it really isn't the writer's fault -- DoubleDown, it is SO good to see you on here again, even if, as I'm thinking, it may only be for the purposes of discussion of your story -- but rather, the nature of Muema's chosen characterization of himself is a crucial issue.

Whatever causes it -- mental illness, or just game-playing weirdness -- Muema is an enigma, particularly to and with the media. To me, it feels a little akin to Serena Williams. This is an athlete whom we only know as an athlete, and the story is unable to get beyond that. We think we know them, we want to know them, we want them to get to know and like us, but we don't, and they don't, because that's what they choose.

It makes it so it's like you're interviewing a shell of a person and you can't do anything about it. This turns it into a non-story, in my opinion, particularly if Muema wouldn't have been a first- or second-round pick, anyway.

What round was he projected to go in? I think it makes a difference in whether the story should have been done.

You did the right thing by not explicitly mentioning mental illness, especially without any professional diagnosis of it, or even anybody quoted as wondering about the possibilities, or any family mention of such past issues.

I think Trina Powell, as she was in Muema's life, is the key to this story, and her absence is insurmountable, even as it speaks volumes.

The clue for me was Muema's wondering and being concerned about whether you were a cop, or would bring a cop, or would have him committed, when you went to meet with him. I can't help but think that perhaps Muema expressed similar concerns, and gave a similar "warning" to Powell should she speak to anyone. And perhaps she simply fears sending her nephew over the edge, and thus has decided not to talk to reporters. Or maybe Muema has specifically asked her not to do so.

Because she can't really think he's "fine," can she?

The story sorely needs Powell, or some other family member or very close past friend, to address Muema's actual condition, and whether/when any symptoms or issues first arose.

 

A lot of good thoughts here, WT. I'm headed to bed, but will address many of them in the morning.

 

I guess the pathos doesn't matter anymore. Adam is going to be one or more of several things:

° embarrassed
° chemically imbalanced
° schizo
° addicted to drugs
° impaired by (possibly) bat and years of football
° certifiable
° scared of the spotlight
° cheeky little devil like Andy Kaufman (as KVV mentioned above)
° other things I'm not thinking of right now

I don't think KVV talking to more family members or friends would have provided the answer of "Ohhhh, now I know why Adam is doing what he's doing!" The story may have begun that way, and had KVV built the string to tell the story of a troubled young man, great. That's all it would have ended up being, the story of a troubled kid with lots of emotional quotes.

And, actually, some of the quotes KVV got were powerful and emotional. I think it was Adam's HS coach who summed it up tenderly, sadly, by saying, Adam's a big boy and he's got some decision making to do.

The story took a wrong toin at Albacoykee and a reporter who basically has nothing to hang his hat on all of a sudden lucks out by stumbling upon a clue and uses his wiles to find himself part of a goose chase.

Has there been a sports story like this, where subject teases and taunts reporter? Indeed, as I read the part about KVV standing in the dark waiting for Adam to emerge from the shadows, I wondered about KVV's deepest fears vis-a-vis being married with young kids. He's a big ol' husky dude who no doubt would hang in a scrum, but hanging out under a streetlight, at night, in L.A. -- by yourself -- isn't exactly a recipe for personal safety. At what point did he start to get ghoulish thoughts? Did he have any backup in the shadows just in case?

At some point Adam Duema will emerge and they'll take him in to be evaluated, and his family and friends will speak more freely, and that can be the next chapter of the story.