"Various Things That Piss You Off" rolling thread

* Those billboards where God is supposedly talking to his flock ("What part of 'No' didn't you understand." ...uhm, the no part).

* College professors who make students read aloud from the textbook. I graduated second grade, I know how to read, you clod. I'm not going to do it out loud, just because you're too lazy to lecture.

* Having to let my son go back to my ex-wife, especially when he says, "I don't want it to be mommy's turn. I want it to be daddy's turn."

* People who get on the interstate at a snail's pace, slowing down the flow of other cars, only to get off at the very next exit! Just stay on the f-ing feeder road you gimps!

 

1. Not getting child support for months when my daughter's father (the assfuck that he is) can afford it twice over.

2. George W. Bush

3. People who like SportsCenter

4. People who pronounce Missouri Missouruh

5. People who are in love with themselves (Whitlock, JDV, whatever)

6. People who cheer in press boxes

7. Me (my wife wanted to contribute to my list)

8. Used-car salesmen

9. The tech people ("Did you restart it?" YES I FUCKING RESTARTED IT)

10. Parents who don't know the first thing about parenting.

 

Baseball writers.

 

Nice touch, creole.

 

All forms of incivility.

 

SUVs in parking garages.
Parents who have strollers the size of SUVs.
Sorority girls.
Guys who think girls don't know anything about sports.
Drivers who don't turn off their brights at night.

 

Bars.

Specifically, the gel-haired, Hollister T-shirt wearing, Bud Light swilling morons who infest them in this college town.

 

They'd be wearing Spuds Mackenzie t-shirts if it was 1987.

Fuck off, Spuds. Almost two decades later, you still suck.

 

And don't forget them asking, what did you do to it?

People who don't use turn signals while driving, those people get me every time.

 

I'm sorry, but Spuds McKenzie rawked. Anyhoo:

--When people will talk on and on without taking a breath.
--When people try to hide their true intentions in happyspeak.
--Inattentive bartenders.

 

All sorts of shit, but, lately, people who snap bubble gum or talk on their toy phones at nicer restaurants.