Vegas bound. Any ideas?

He's fairly miserable at math and science.. but he's been playing guitar for less than a year and is amazingly good at it. There seems to be a lot of connection there -- a really high percentage of the competitive "cubers" are also musicians.

The competitions are a trip. And they look like the cast of "The Big Bang Theory" minus Penny.

 

FRIDAY, MAY 31

Got married that night in our hometown of Elizabethtown, Ky., without a hitch. Rained earlier in the day, but stopped around 6 p.m. -- giving us enough time to get the chairs dried for our outdoor wedding at 7:30 p.m.

After having rehearsal the day before, turns out the best man-maid of honor walkdown got changed earlier in the day (in a shock to the bride and groom). The pastor (my uncle) had to re-assure me everything was OK. Wedding went OK, except my ring is too big (after having my ring finger sized twice on different days).

At the end of the reception, I grab the cards and decide to make a list and start opening them. With our honeymoon starting the next day, figured we'd need the money. Wife halts me and tells me it is rude to open up the cards in front of people (even though we had done exactly that at two showers -- one each held by our own families). I gave my wife the cards and told her she could keep up with them.

On the way out to my truck, someone chases down my wife and brings her a gift bag the giver had left in her car. With her hands now full, my wife hands me back the cards. However, with my hands full, I can barely open truck. So I put the cards on top of the truck (I think) and never grabbed them.

I drove off with all the cards (and the money/gift cards inside them) flying off. We didn't realize this until after we made the 15-minute drive home and about an hour later after we had changed and packed the truck. Went back to the wedding site to look for them, but couldn't find a single card.

Estimated we lost between $200 and $500 at least (her mom had given us $200).

Frustrated and tired, we finally hit I-65 south for Nashville, where we are flying out of the next day and have reservations for that night at the Alexis Suites near the airport. Except there is construction near Cave City/Horse Cave/Glasgow. We got caught in it. And so did a semi, which had overturned or jack-knifed or some such. So it took more than 2 hours to get to Bowling Green for a trip I can make in an hour on most days.

Didn't get to Nashville til 3 a.m. Eastern (our local time) and 2 a.m. there. Room was small, bathroom was too and the room smelled damp. But we got a good rate, so wasn't too disappointed. We went to bed. No naughty business at all -- still virgins.

SATURDAY, JUNE 1

I will say Alexis has a good breakfast bar. Make-your-own thick waffles (although no sugar-free syrup -- I'm diabetic), scrambled eggs, biscuits, muffins, milk, cereal, whatever. One of the better breakfast selections I've had a hotel.

Found out since we had stayed one night (which we did) and we were returning within 7 days (which we did), we could leave the truck at the hotel and use the free shuttle to the airport for departure and get a free shuttle back on return day. Score. That saved more than $50 in longterm parking.

Forgot that I had two unopened Diet Coke cans in my carry-on bag while going through security. Got caught. One security guard chastised me (I shouldn't have done it, I deserved it), but the one running the scanner noticed my diabetic stuff (strips, monitor, blood pinprick, shots) and asked to see my license (which has a diabetic notation on it). He fought for me and got the Diet Cokes back. He even joked it was worth the hassle since drinks at the airport are far more expensive.

Had a 4-hour direct flight on Southwest. Hit some turbulence around Oklahoma. My wife, who was sitting by the window, said she hurt her back.

Arrived safe and sound. Took the shuttle to the rental car center. Thought I had it paid for, but the Dollar agent, who I could barely understand, INSISTED I needed insurance. So there was $180 more I hadn't planned on spending (after spending $110 on the rental car). So now I'm up to $290 for the car.

Drove to MGM Signature. Got checked in to our 34th floor penthouse junior suite. Don't like that you have to valet your car all the time, but it didn't take them long to get it the times we needed it in the future. Room was very nice. Huge bathroom. Clear see-through adjustable shower. Large jacuzzi tub. His and her sinks. Flat-screen TV. Toilet in separate closet (with phone). King-size bed, nice flatscreen, full couch, table for 2, desk and a two-person table on the open-air balcony (with view of NYNY, Monte Carlo, Carriage House, Planet Hollywood, Polo Towers, etc.).

(Room Link: http://www.homeaway.com/vacation-rental/p327183vb)

After unpacking, we decided to walk to Caesar's Palace. Took us a while to find the actual MGM walkway (which is indoors and air conditioned and covered with moving sidewalks ... we had gone outside looking for a sidewalk walkway). Ooops. Took photos along the way. By the time we got to Caesar's, my wife was tired, her face was red and she was grabbing at her back. Ate at Serendipity 3 at the bar since it was a 30-minute wait for a table. Getting some water in my wife quickly helped, as I feared she could be dehydrating. We split a meatball pizza.

Walked over to the Colosseum. Awesome venue. Our seats were center row, very top (2nd mezzanine), but we knew that going in. Show was solid and it helped that both of us recognized all of her songs. However, of thes three shows we would see in Vegas, it was the least-liked.

Caught "All That Jazz" fountain show at Bellagio. Quite impressive.

Stopped at a Walgreen's on the way back to pick up sunblock, waffles and pop tarts and a pack of bottled water.

Enjoyed the jacuzzi when we got back to the room. But since her back still hurt, didn't get much accomplished in the "honeymoon" department.

SUNDAY, JUNE 2

Woke up and went down to the pool at MGM Signature Tower I. Free water and towels. Plenty of chairs. Not very crowded. Was enjoyable, but other than sitting on the edge of the pool and getting in just enough to get her hair wet, wife didn't do much in the pool because of her back.

Decided to eat in the MGM food court. Went to Nathan's and got two chicken tender combos. Pretty sure it was $34. No lie.

After laying in the bed and watching TV for a bit, got ready for that night. Walked to Mandalay Bay. Took more photos of Excalibur, Luxor and M.B. on the way. Ate at Burger Bar at Mandalay Bay. I got the hangover burger. Forgot what the wife got. Meal was OK.

Watched Cirque Du Soleil Michael Jackson. Awesome. Ending with the hologram was very cool. Only complaints I had was it was too loud in some spots (we weren't the only ones holding our ears and we were in the back) AND it seemed like there was just "too much" going on at times. Sometimes there's 4 people on stage. Sometimes it is 20 (with people above you coming from the rafters). Even when we had a wide-sweeping view, it was hard to take it all in. I'm sure I could see the show again and catch something I didn't see the first time.

Walked back. We were tired. Wife's back still hurt. Plus, we had to get up quite early the next morning. So, still no "honeymooning."

MONDAY, JUNE 3

Had to be at the Tower II shuttle dock by 6:50 a.m. for our Grand Canyon Tour Company trip to the Grand Canyon South Rim. I had eaten some waffles before and when we got to the loading place (underneath Planet Hollywood, if I recall correctly), they gave us one bottled water each and one danish each. Also had to pay the bill (preferably in cash) when I though I had already paid it online (even had receipt to prove it with confirmation). Was told that was just for "holding" purposes. Again, more than $150 I had not planned on spending (guess I should have done more research).

Bus ride to Canyon was fine. Driver (Brandon/Branden, it was spelled one way on his shirt and another on his bus paper) was very engaging and funny. Did NOT stop at Hoover Dam on way there, but told us he wouldn't ahead of time. Watched a PBS documentary on Vegas before the bathroom break and Ocean's 11 after). Time flew by.

Grand Canyon depot lunch buffet was solid. Rice, grilled chicken, make-your-own soft tacos, potatoes and a few types of dessert. Was actually one of our better meals.

Canyon was awe-inspiring. Took plenty of photos and video. Had several people take photos of us together. Didn't feel rushed.

On the way back, Brandon/Branden showed a documentary on the Grand Canyon as well as Vegas Vacation. As we approached Hoover Dam, he slowed his speed way down so we could take photos of it from the bus. Got some good ones (with IPad mini and my camera). Wasn't disappointed we didn't stop on the way. Gave Brandon/Branden a combined $15 tip. One of better tour guides/drivers I've had.

Came back to room exhausted. Went to bed early.

TUESDAY, JUNE 4

Woke up and had another pool day. Got reservations through opentable.com for 3:30 at Capo's so I could use a dinner groupon. Drive out there only to find they are closed from 3-5. Mad that I had a reservation (plus confirmation with confirmation code). Since we were kinda in the area, drove over to Circus Circus to use my Chuck Jones (Looney Tunes) groupon. First room had lots of things missing off the wall, but still got some good shots of all sorts of Looney Tunes stuff. Plus, my boss' name is actually Chuck Jones, so he enjoyed some shots I texted him.

Was quite glad we did NOT stay at Circus Circus. I posted here before that was my original hotel through my Southwest Jackpot Deals before TripAdvisor nation told me to get the hell outta Dodge! I appreciate it. Way too rundown/old. Kids everywhere. Dining options quite limited compared to MGM. A haul from decent sites on the strip.

Left C.C. and drove back to Signature. Made the relatively short walk to Monte Carlo. Ate at "The Pub" and got $20 percent off thanks to having Blue Man tickets. Got there during happy hour (4-6) and both of us ate for less than $25 total. I had three sliders and seven wings. I was full. Probably our best meal for the dollar.

Went to Monte Carlo casino to see the Blue Man percussion parade. Got photos and video. Awesome.

Got in the theatre for the Blue Man preshow. The robot singled me out and had me "clean" like three banisters. Got a round of applause from the crowd. Wife, however, forgot to get photo/video. Oh well.

Blue Man show was fantastic. Kid friendly. Funny. Not too many "slow" spots, in my opinion. The big balls and toilet paper at the end were fun. Most crowd-engaging show we saw. After show, wife and I were able to pose with one of the Blue Men for free. Also got a free photo with the preshow-robot (who was in the regular show as well).

Blue Man was worth the money. Plus, not a bad seat in the house. Not a big theatre to begin with.

Walked back to room. Went to bed. Wife's back still not great.

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 5

Got checked out fairly early. Drove to Palazzo/Venetian. Checked out the gondolas and Grand Canal. Impressive. Didn't take a ride, basically because there was a line and it ain't cheap.

Drove back to Capo's for lunch. Didn't read my groupon close enough because it said "dinner." Oh well. Ate there anyway. Had entire restaurant to ourselves. I'm sure it has a different feel at night, but we enjoyed it. Kinda romantic being just the two of us. She had spaghetti, I had chicken parmesan with pasta salad. Paid less than $30. Quite pleased.

Drove to Bellagio to try to catch daytime fountain show, only to find out they don't start til 3. We were there at 1. Oops.

Decide to drive and see the Vegas sign. Pass it up. Have to turn around.

Dropped the rental car off and caught the shuttle to the terminal. Check-in line was quite long, but moved quickly.

Flight was delayed 20 minutes, but it didn't matter as we got back to Nashville at 10:30 Central time instead of 10:50. What was supposed to be a 3:55 flight turned out to be 3:20. Score. Plus, flight attendants were great. Think we had three drinks, oreos, pretzels, peanuts. Flight attendants were quite engaging. Made time fly by.

Called for the free hotel shuttle. Get dropped off and with funds running low from unexpected expenses, decide to make the 3-hourish drive back home that night. Get to truck. Hit "unlock" button on keychain. No dice. Battery is dead. Luckily I have AAA. Called them and they were over in less than 40 minutes to jump it. Didn't get home til about 3 a.m. local time.

RECAP

So my wife hurt her back (she's fine now), lost all our wedding cards (and money), ring doesn't fit, wasted a groupon, had more than $300 in unplanned expenses, didn't gamble, didn't drink (alcohol), spent more than $250 on a rental car that I drove less than 50 total miles ... and the wife and I are both still virgins.

That's Vegas for you.

 

The Las Vegas Convention and Visitors Authority would prefer if you never retell that story.

But, turn it into script, and you might have a fun romantic comedy.

 

Look into annulment. I think if you don't consummate in the first week, it's a get-out-of-marriage free card.

 

You paid for insurance on a rental car? Most personal insurance carries over to rentals & you can get additional coverage from whatever credit card you use.

You didn't get any on your honeymoon? It is only downhill from there.

 

The honeymoon play-by-play is the most memorable thing I've ever read on this site.

 

They always do. You essentially have to insist that they go fuck themselves.

 

#POY2013

Now go get laid, kid.

 

Other than that, how was the parade, Mrs. Kennedy?

Sounded like a nightmare. At least you got to see some of Vegas.

 

Did that just happen?

I'm calling bullshit on the flight to Vegas. I think you drove there in Smallpotatoes' car.

 

I'm still waiting for the climax ... to the story.

 

No. You tell them your primary coverage - and/or your credit card that they'll get to make sure you don't get off without paying - handles your auto insurance. Got an overzealous counter rep and/or one who has been pressured into this junk by the revenue manager.

(Yes, check this stuff before you get there. Otherwise, you're lambs awaiting slaughter ... )