Want a raise? How about a bullet instead?

I'm the HR person where I work. I just sent that link to everyone in the office.

 

Great sitcom opportunity! We'll call it, "Just Shoot Me."

 

All I thought is how shitty that lede was. ... gave them a bullet to the head.

You're writing a murder, not a freaking football gamer you tactless prick. That's someone's dead family member.

 

I had a problem with the lede, too. It called the underpaid but didn't quantify. Shoulda been something like, "Two workers who felt they were underpaid ..."

 

If your boss is capable of a double homicide, by definition you are underpaid, even if you make A-Rod money.

 

Alec Baldwin's character from Glengarry Glen Ross just creamed his pants and he doesn't know why.