Wasting precious time of my life

Yeah, one day they're playing in their crib, the next day they're spreading throat yogurt. To everything turn, turn, turn, there is a season, turn, turn, turn.

 

Flash, be happy our government won't let us watch that.

It is the ex-wife and ditsy nose-jobbed daughter of a former mongoloid NFLer (and former flame of Brigitte Neilson), looking for some way to keep themselves in plastic surgery and handbags now that the big salary and alimony days are over.

A major train wreck.

 

I hardly ever watch the new Degrassi but I thoroughly enjoyed the episode a few years ago where Emma went to visit her father Shane, who was left brain-damaged after tripping out on acid and jumping off a bridge. Remember?

Anyway, they couldn't get the original actor back to play Shane for whatever reason, so they gave the role to Jonathan Torrens, who of course is better known for playing the wiggerific J-Roc (the Microphone Assassin) on "Trailer Park Boys." Truly classic stuff, knowhumsayn?

 

Look at it this way cougargirl: You could be a Braves fan with the starter out of the game. Talk about wasted viewing time.

 

OK, hang on, didn't Jonathan Torrens used to host some consumer show for kids? Do I have the right guy? If it is, a girl with whom I went to J-school dated him for a while ...

 

Ex-wife of Mark Gastineau and their daughter bicker over botox appointments, whether to sue the bikini waxer for an ingrown, and what to do about the housekeeper who put the red Dolce tank top in the wash with the white Frette towels. During May sweeps I think they compare nipple size.

 

If you're thinking about "Jonovision," it's the same guy.

 

Dear God ... he went from uber-prep to being an extra on the Trailer Park? Wow.

 

To be fair, he's more of a supporting player than an extra.

The episode where he got caught masturbating and pirating tunes from established rappers for his own album (not in the same scene, mind you) was freaking hilarious, as were the shows where he branched out into making porno films -- "The Blair Pimp Project" and "From Russia With The Love Bone."

 

Never heard of this before seeing this thread last night. Then I found a two-day-old Toronto Star article about it. After reading the article, I'm sure the writer would rather have chewed glass than interviewed Lauren, who is apparently a retread from another show called "Laguna Beach."

Of course, maybe he's into train wrecks and lapped this up like a kitten with a saucer of milk. Who knows?

http://www.thestar.com/NASApp/cs/Co...le&cid=1150452120949&call_pageid=968867495754

But LC - er, excuse me, Lauren - is nothing if not determined about her fashion future. After all, she was designing for her Barbie doll since she was a tween.

Pal Heidi is rather indeterminate about her future. She gets into this marvelously surrealistic chat with the college dean.

It turns out Heidi forgot to read the curriculum and wants to major in PR so she can plan big parties for the rest of her life. The frown on the dean's face is a marvelous TV moment as she suggests maybe Heidi try retail sales. Or perhaps this gal is at the wrong college?

Of course, there are boy toys everywhere. Like Brian, who hates the very thought of full employment, stating "Hey, I have a full-time job. I go out every night." Like, that's so heavy, dude.


I can't believe I'm about to write this, but give me Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie any day over something like this. At least they put some amount of work into their TV show. Maybe not a lot, but certainly more than these wastes of skin and bone seem to put forth.

 

Heidi, what a trip. Skipping classes on the first day, taking advice from what seems to be her boyfriend-with-no-job-but-shares-a-huge/expensive-condo-with-some-other-seemingly-jobless-rich-kid.

Lauren seems to have a good head on her shoulders but we'll find out when it appears she goes goes for seconds with Jason.

I can't believe I typed all of that.

 

You know too much about The Hills. ;D