We Southern racists

Who's Al Dente? Never heard of 'im.

 

Isn't he the guy who opened the I-talian restaurant next door to the movie rental/hair salon/tanning parlor out on Route 9?

 

You're gonna have to be more specific. Does it have a cell phone store?

 

Nah, that's over on State Highway 257. You know, next door to the liquor store/feed store/used car lot.

 

You have a college? I'd be willing to come down if you offer weekend seminars and I can do it before the summer season in the Hamptons begins. (I don't like to miss the weekend getaways, especially when there's a good polo match or a fund-raiser for the victims in Darfur.) I'd be interested in topics like: "Courtin' your cousin," "The AK-47: An integral part of a good hunter's arsenal," or "Squirrel: The other other white meat."

 

Naw, he's the crew chief for that Juan Pablo Montoya.

 

Now see, that's where you get into trouble down here. We don't court our cousins or use AKs for huntin.

But I do offer bonus points if somebody can properly skin a squirrel or possum.

 

This thread has been good fun, but if any you Yankee bastards start dissing sweet tea and grits, I'm going to get pissy.

 

FRIED SQUIRREL WITH BISCUITS AND GRAVY

Prep Time:
Varies


Ingredients


Utensils
4 squirrels, quartered Crock Pot
3/4 cup all-purpose flour Large Bowl
1 tablespoon salt Medium Bowl
1 teaspoon pepper Large Iron Skillet
4 slices bacon, cut up
1 egg, beaten Baking Sheet
2 tablespoons butter Glass or Cutter
2 apples
1 orange
1 white onion
Biscuits
1 cup self-rising flour
1 1/2 cups buttermilk
2 tablespoons shortening
1 teaspoon salt
Directions
Cut up apples, onion and orange and place in a crock pot
Add squirrel
Cover with water and cook till meat becomes tender
Check frequently since all squirrels do not tenderize at the same rate of time. Do not allow squirrel to over tenderize and fall apart.
After meat is done, remove and allow to cool completely
Mix salt, flour, pepper in a bowl
Dip dry squirrel quarters in well beaten egg and dredge in the flour mixture
Place bacon and butter in large iron skillet and heat, then add squirrel
Fry on very low heat uncovered till brown, about twenty minutes on each side.

Biscuits
Mix dry ingredients and cut in shortening
Add buttermilk and fold dough by hand
Place dough on floured surface and flatten by hand to a thickness of about 1 inch
Cut biscuits with a floured cutter or drinking glass
Bake on top rack at 375 degrees till tops are golden (about 10 minutes), remove and spread butter on tops and replace in oven for another five minutes or till brown.

Gravy
Remove fried squirrel, pour off most of the grease leaving a little for gravy base
Brown a small palm full of all-purpose flour and grease, add 1 cup of cold water and stir
Salt to taste.

Serve with rice.

NOTE: If one appreciates the natural game flavor of squirrel the apples and oranges should not be added in the parboiling process since these remove the wild taste from the squirrel. Serves four.

 

Undrinkable and inedible.

 

Inaudible and incorrigible.

 

I'd imagine if they offered a course to northern transplants on "How to be a proper redneck racist", a good percentage of folks could test out of the class...