Welcome to the SEC, Lane Kiffin

Again, the secondary violations aren't the big deal. Everyone has them. Richt had several last season, and he's about the nicest guy in that cutthroat league.

What makes this hilarious is that Kiffin's been running his mouth so much, and that's why writers all over the country are justifiably taking aim and firing piss pellets in his Corn Flakes.

As for Moddy's question, yeah, he sounds like a doucherocket in the Saban/Meyer/Parcells/Belichick mold — "my way or the highway, the process, blah blah blah bullshit." He just hasn't done anything yet. Maybe he wins like those guys; maybe he doesn't. And if he doesn't, the line of people laughing at him will stretch hundreds of miles from Knoxville in every direction.

 

So both Sarkisian and Kiffin illegally used smoke machines for recruits ... that's the big USC technique ?

 

Maybe the cheering hotties emerge topless from the smoke to a 2 Live Crew song.

 

Completely. Especially the parts where he reveled in firing people left and right, from secretaries to a guy who was in charge of his airport car that was, gasp, 25 minutes late.

Of course then it turns out he has no power to fire anyone and he was...exaggerating a bit.

http://deadspin.com/5153030/lane-kiffin-may-be-allergic-to-the-truth

 

Well, from what I know, they didn't use smoke machines.

 

Isn't there a permanent cloud of smoke around Snoop Dog most of the time?

 

More like a doucherocket pretending to be in the Saban/Meyer/Belichik mold.

Usually when you hear those stories about the ultra-demanding coach who works all hours, sleeps in the office, and runs off those who can't keep up, the source is someone else who's observed the behavior. It's not the coach trying to describe himself that way, as was the case in that SI piece that, to me, reeked of bullshit.

Every day Kiffin comes off as more of a con artist who's leveraged his daddy's connections, a pretty face and penchant for flinging bullshit into multi-million dollar jobs he never deserved.

And crazy Al Davis ain't seeming quite so crazy about labeling this guy a pathological liar.

 

DJ Hall and Julio Jones would be happy to translate.

Basically, Chavis is allergic to press coverage, especially in long-yardage situations. Thus, his defensive backs tend to leave cushions wide enough to parallel park a U-Haul in.

 

And where does the "corndoggers of red stick" come from?

 

Red Stick is the English translation of Baton Rouge, home of LSU. It has been scientifically proven that LSU fans smell like corndogs. (I'm lazy, you can do a search on here for the link.)

 

Nice deciphering for those of us who don't speak SEC-ese. Thanks.

 

That's entirely possible, but we just don't know yet.

People said Urban Meyer and Bruce Pearl wouldn't win in the SEC, either. It's too early to know. I won't be surprised either way.