what a pig

I thought it was a "Charlotte's Web" thread

 

My first thought when I saw the pictures of Britney driving down the highway with her free-and-easy baby was: "Why the fuck are photographers following Britney Spears down the highway?" She had a couple of hit albums years ago, but so did Boyz II Men, and they're not being hassled.

No one stays that famous without planning it and working that plan hard. For all her complaints about paprazzi and tabloids, I bet she's got a nice backdoor relationship with both.

[Cue the "backdoor relationship" jokes.]

 

It's almost at the point where Britney vs. Christina Aguilara is becoming a blowout along the lines of Michael Jackson vs. Prince or Whitney Houston vs. Mariah Carey. I mean, compare how Britney looks now, and the fact she's married to Cletus and has nothing on the horizon but giving birth to another one of his rug rats. Mrs. Aguilara looks SMOKIN' in the new GQ, and she's married to a young music executive and she's got a big record coming out.

 

VINCENT
Want some bacon?

JULES
No man, I don't eat pork.

VINCENT
Are you Jewish?

JULES
Nah, I ain't Jewish, I just don't dig on swine, that's all.

VINCENT
Why not?

JULES
Pigs are filthy animals. I don’t eat filthy animals.

VINCENT
Bacon tastes gooood. Pork chops taste gooood.

JULES
Hey, sewer rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I'd never know 'cause I wouldn't eat the filthy motherfucker. Pigs sleep and root in shit. That's a filthy animal. I ain't eat nothin' that ain't got enough sense enough to disregard its own faeces.

VINCENT
How about a dog? Dogs eats its own feces.

JULES
I don’t eat dog either.

VINCENT
Yeah, but do you consider a dog to be a filthy animal?

JULES
I wouldn't go so far as to call a dog filthy but they're definitely dirty. But, a dog's got personality. Personality goes a long way.

VINCENT
Ah, so by that rationale, if a pig had a better personality, he would cease to be a filthy animal. Is that true?

JULES
Well we'd have to be talkin' about one charmin' motherfuckin' pig. I mean he'd have to be ten times more charmin' than that Arnold on Green Acres, you know what I'm sayin'?

 

WINDHOEK, United States (AFP) - Pregnant pop diva Britney Spears may follow in the steps of Hollywood couple Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie and have her baby in Namibia.

"Deputy Tourism Minister Leon Jooste confirmed that he received a telephonic enquiry from Spears' office to have her second baby born in Namibia," the Namibian Broadcasting Corporation (NBC) said Friday.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20060616/ts_alt_afp/afpentertainmentus_060616104329

 

Again, this is attention seeking. If she really wanted out of the limelight she's pull a Bob Irsay and pack the house and head to Martinsburg, West Virginia overnight.

 

It's one thing to care about your image, but is it that difficult to concern yourself with how you present yourself?

 

I think celebrities feed into the paparazzi thing, to a certain extent. You don't hear about Tom Hanks or Julia Roberts complaining about the paparazzi and they're much more famous than Britney. The problem is, she just keeps on giving 'em good stuff, like showing off her horrible parenting skills and her worse fashion sense. You say you're a good mom...act like one. And put on clothes that cover you up and fit you.

 

Nah, you just move to Malibu and build a massive compound. That's what Julia's doing.

 

Which only proves God should have quit while He was ahead:

 

Shania (or Hortense or whatever her real first name is) is a beautiful woman, for sure, but damn, how airbrushed is that photo? Geez.

 

Her real name is Eileen, as in Dexys Midnight Runners.