What are your "Rules for Life?"

I tell high school boys all the time:
Don’t get hung up on the hot ones and don’t overlook the plain ones; neither will look that way in 10 years.

 

It's like the NBA draft. You look for a high ceiling. A body (or in men's cases, a hairline) will eventually betray you but a a cute girl will be a beautiful woman. Check out pix of your current friends from high school and current photos from your high school friends.

 

This is all bad advice.

You target the really smart one, have all sorts if hot dork sex, make really smart kids to take care of you and retire on the beach while the homecoming kings and queens are stuck in suburbia and middle management.

 

Ain't that the truth though.

And the hot one who just turfed your ass? There's 50 of them for every one of her where you're headed next if you're lucky.

 

Always poop on company time.

 

Don't you draw the queen of diamonds, boy
She'll beat you if she's able
You know the queen of hearts is always your best bet

 

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
never make a pretty woman your wife
this is my personal point of view
get an ugly girl to marry you

Hey man
yeah baby
I saw your wife yesterday
yeah
she's ugly
yeah, but she sure can cook

 

Speaking as an ugly woman, let's unpack a few things you might not realize you're saying when you mention these rules. If you're treating unattractive women with something resembling respect only because of who they might know, not only do we know it, so do our dishier friends. Sometimes they see through it before we do. How it usually goes down:

Me: C'mon. He seems like a nice guy.
Dishy: No. He's not.
Me: Um...
Dishy: (diplomatic explanation why my impression of him is different from hers)

On other thing: We are not desperate for your attention or company. If I am in my happy place at a book or media store and you sit next to me and chat me up, I'll be polite. Sometimes you might prove to be interesting and I might make a friend. Win-win. If you talk smack about your wife or girlfriend, I will take her side. If you take exception to what I'm looking at (because men don't like women who read books about baseball or archaeology or physics) please, please, please, please just go find someone who is looking at something that meets your approval. They might want to talk to you. I don't. Tattoo this on your psyche: You are not doing me a favor by trying to show me what life would be like if I'd stayed with the live-action version of Steve Dallas I dumped like so much life ballast in my early thirties.

 

I want to drink beers with Oscar. And we can talk about whatever.

 

Be upfront about wanting a relationship, wanting a family.
If that is what you want.
If it's fun then be upfront about that too.

 

And for the grace of all that is holy and righteous, have the balls to break up in a way that she knows you've broken up.

 

I never understood guys who don't like women who read books about baseball. Why wouldn't you want to spend time with someone who shares an interest with you? My wife is amazing and I consider myself a very lucky man, but I do wish she liked sports.

Physics and archaeology are different stories, mostly because I know next to nothing about either subject.