What are your "Rules for Life?"

NEVER NEVER NEVER BRING YOUR MUSIC IN YOUR GOLF CART. TAKE THAT SHIT TO KARAOKE NIGHT AT THE TAVERN.

 

Heard this on an NFL Films episode about Ed Sabol. They were interviewing Steve and he said Ed told him, "Always treat others like a gentleman. They might not be, but you are."

Works for me.

 

Lessons from an ex-felon:

1. No matter the size and scope of the confrontation, always assume every single person is packing heat. Therefore, avoid any and all confrontations. Nothing is worth possibly losing your life over.
2. No matter how good or expensive your lawyer might be, always assume the worst possible outcome when facing criminal charges.
3. In jail, always give the stuff you don't eat to the biggest, meanest dude in the cellblock. You never know when you might need a human shield.
4. Just like your family, you can't pick your cellmates. So don't piss them off because you'll be face to face with them for 24 hours at a time.
5. No matter what you see in there, always tell the guards you didn't see what happened, especially if it's a fight or somebody's cell is getting tossed (for contraband). Nobody likes a snitch.
6. Be as respectful as possible to the guards. You never know when they might give you a break on visitation time or the biggest piece of cake.

 

I respectfully disagree. Now I'm not blasting it, its only for my ears.

 

maumann-

I refuse to believe you're that, you seem too affable.

But duly noted, for sure.

 

Thanks. I'm the least likely criminal mastermind ever. Someday, I'm going to take a cross-country trip to see everybody on this board who'd like to spend an afternoon chatting about the business and check out my rap sheet.

 

Here's an adult beverage and a slab of been waiting for you in SF (I mean it, I'm the guy who follows through)

 

much scarier in anton chigurh's voice

 

Once chain bookstores close, do your grocery shopping at the upscale places that have kids’ cooking classes.

Sympathize that her husband doesn’t understand how Lululemon pants make her feel, regardless of the inflated cost.

Listen to the endless details of her day, even if there is no punchline or payoff. Or she’ll find someone who will. Someone like me.

Always carry cash.