What (or who) are you tired of?

Are you some kind of couch-sitting pinko, Reacher?

 

Ha. Apparently!

 

That's exactly what I do.

 

That's not strange at all.

 

I'll beat everybody to it: .... kids' coaching stories!!

 

In a similar vein, adults posting the Pledge of Allegiance on Facebook.

 

Facebook needs to have a "fist jacking off" emoticon.

 

All the chills, life changing, awesome, unbelievable, inspiring posts on Facebook.

Might as well include every Facebook expression placed on a sign.

 

People who go into a fast food restaurant with a list and order takeout for more than three people. And people who go into a fast food place with no knowledge whatsoever of what's on the menu, but don't take a minute to look at the menu board before going to the counter.
Subway is the worst for this, but this story is about Chick-fil-A.

I didn't eat lunch yesterday (woke up late morning, spent all afternoon covering two baseball games), so by the time I got to the office around 7 I was ready to eat the ass end of a dead rhino. I'm also seeing the deadline clock ticking since I have to write four stories and paginate four pages in the next five hours.
Some 80-year-old man into the parking lot just ahead of me, nearly causing a wreck with another car in the process, and by the time I find a spot and start heading into the Chick-fil-A his wife and teenage grandson are near the door. He stayed in the car. I can see in the parking lot where this is heading, but they're just far enough ahead of me that I can't rush around them without bumping them aside and looking like an asshole.
So I shuffle along behind them, and then The List comes out. It's at least six lines long. As a bonus, once they're at the counter -- with only one register open -- it becomes painfully obvious they've been to Chick-fil-A a total of three times in their lives and they didn't take very good notes on any of those trips. There's questions of the cashier about how many nuggets come in what meals, general uncertainty and nervousness, and a growing Hulk-level rage inside me. Five minutes later the order is complete, and the cashier tells them the order is $31 even.
Grandma searches in her purse.
Searches some more.
Not only does she not have the cash, she didn't get the credit card from Grandpa.
Grandson is dispatched to the car to get it while me and about four other people try to figure out how many ways you can bash an old lady's skull in with a napkin dispenser. After Grandson runs out, Grandma asks if they take checks.
Checks.
In a Chick-fil-A.
Fucking checks.
The cashier finally gets wise to how long this is going to take and must've seen the angry mob forming behind Grandma, because he smartly slid over to another register and started taking more orders. That's why Chick-fil-A has the best customer service in the business. They know how to avoid riots in their restaurants.

I was out of there a few minutes later and I never did see Grandson return. Maybe he took the credit card, stole Grandpa's car and bought booze to try and forget the shame.

 

And now we know the plot line of Batman vs. Superman. Batman flies into a rage while standing in line at Chick-Fil-A.

 

OMG YOU WON'T BELIEVE HOW NO. 17 WILL MAKE YOU FEEL!!!

 

I'm tired of newspapers that expect this from one person.