What the movies taught you about sports

If you're driving a Ferrari in an illegal cross country race, you should dress up like priests and pretend that you're on a mission from the Vatican. Because everyone is going to buy that.

 

These? These bleeds?

 

Seconded.

 

. . . with some of the more sophisticated verbal signals in the history of the sport.

 

Pain heals, chicks dig scars, glory lasts forever.

 

Those cheerleaders ... look like girls, sound like girls, not girls.

 

That great moments are borne of great opportunity.

That if you can sign a bunch of mismatched oddballs who happen to be born under the same astrological sign, you can go ahead and print your NBA Finals tickets right now.

That Max Baer was actually very proud and boastful of having killed a man in the ring.

 

Charles Robinson is doing it all wrong. If you have been busting it to break a huge recruiting scandal you don't run an exclusive story, you let every one know what you have by questioning the coach in a post-game presser.

 

If you're throwing a perfect game, be sure to reminisce about your failed relationship with Kelly Preston. It will be the fuel you need to finish it off.

 

A prosthetic hand will not interfere with you bowling game.

 

That you don't need to prove nothin' to nobody except yourself.

 

That guns are hidden under 2nd base.