What the movies taught you about sports

That Wesley Snipes may run like Hays, but he hits like shit.

 

A lot of us like to bet money on pool games.

 

don't wear boxing gloves when facing Thunderlips in a charity fight

 

That the Cubs will win the World Series in three years after Miami moves to the AL and changes its nickname.

 

That to celebrate making the playoffs the entire team will eat a celebratory meal together, all get the same thing, and all wind up with food poisoning that sidelines them for a month.

 

leaping over tombstones in a graveyard is good practice for jumping over defensive players in a game.

 

Those are not spirit fingers.
These

are spirit fingers

 

What good peeing sounds like.

 

That you should avoid the clap.

 

I learned how to run the picket fence.

I think.

 

For the right price Charley Lau will come give a high school kid hitting lessons that allow him to hit a game-winning home run after looking like crap at the plate all season.

 

Just don't get caught watchin' the paint dry.