What's the most you've ever eaten in one sitting?

That's how I eat so much at the buffets. I'm not sure if this is true, but I did hear it, so it must be a fact: You've got a 20-minute window on how much you can eat until your body says, "That's enough, fatty." So if you just take your time, you'll be full, even though you ate less. Whereas if you race against the clock to empty the box, your body doesn't notice the amount.

That doesn't completely make sense to me, but who am I to argue with something I don't understand?

 

I don't know if I'm able to say exactly how much in one sitting but it used to be routine for me to eat an entire large pizza in one sitting. With beer, of course. There's also a Chinese place right around the corner from Casa Cougar that makes massive quantities of take-out entrees. I used to be able to put away an entire container, along with two egg rolls and a hot and sour soup. ... man, just thinking about that makes me ill now. I'm lucky to get through half of each of those in a sitting.

 

Yeah, Chinese food can be dangerous, too.

With the rice and veggies and stuff you can lull yourself into thinking it's good for you, until you factor in the pounds of salt and all the other bad stuff things like fried rice and sweet and sour chicken can contain.

That's not to say when I go to PF Chang's I still don't absolutely destroy everything in front of me, though

 

Fucking freak.

 

Dude, cold pizza is amazing. If I got up before noon, I'd consider it the best breakfast ever.

 

So?

 

Cold pizza and orange juice. Best. Post-hangover. Breakfast. Ever.

 

I won a doughnut-eating contest once.

Two papers ago, a photographer from Wisconsin had a birthday bash at one of the staffer's houses. A few dozen Krispy Kremes were ordered, and the participants - either I was shamed into it or someone had to represent the sports desk ... I forget - had to pick out five doughnuts. They were to be eaten within five minutes.

I wolfed down the first one ... I don't think I took a break at the desk that night. I mashed the other four together and put those down the hatch. I think the time was 3:30, give or take a second. No one else did it in five minutes.

Saying that the staffers were stunned would be putting it mildly. They wouldn't have believed it if they hadn't witnessed it, complete with photos by another staff photog. It was in the next quarterly office letter in the newsroom. :-X :

Suffice it to say, I needed nothing else that night. I think I even eschewed Mountain Dew in favor of water to melt down that sugar bomb.

 

Cold pizza is OK, but it's nowhere near as good as the real hot piping thing.

And Sam, I have a HUGE weakness for Krispy Kreme donuts. I think I could eat 12 in a sitting.

 

Five doughnuts in 3:30? Surprised no one could get lower than that.

 

Used to have two whoppers, a large fry and a large chocolate shake for lunch every other day during my early 20s. One whopper was everything except cheese and onion, the other just ketchup, pickle and mustard.

 

Three pounds of steak, mound of fries, salad and bread. Plus tamales as a warmup.
Did it on a bet and I won, but I paid the price later.
Oh, did I pay a price. A doctor later told me that eating that much protein in one sitting causes horrible problems for the body. Kidney failure, that sort of thing.
It did cause some horrible problems, but kidney failure was not one.