What's the most you've ever eaten in one sitting?

Yeah, but I don't have a tattoo on my ass!

;D

 

But I do, and NONE of you will ever get to see it!

 

"'Tis no man. 'Tis a remorseless eatin' machine. Yarrrgghh."

 

In my younger days I used to wait with baited breath for the 2-for-$2 Big Mac deal at McDonald's. I'd go and get four. I'd eat three for lunch, with a Coke or two of course, and save the fourth for dinner. I could probably still eat two Big Macs in a sitting without too much trouble.

My finest hour, though, was on a trip to Sizzler when I was 14 or 15. I'd always get the all-you-can-eat shrimp. 15 shrimp to a plate, they keep 'em comin' until you say stop. I said stop after four plates and 60 shrimp. I couldn't move for two hours.

 

Homer: So, do you think I have a case?
Hutz: I don't use the word hero very often, but you are the greatest hero in American history.

 

Is that the same episode where he talks about suing the creators of The Never-Ending Story?

As for my gluttony: Right after I graduated HS, a buddy and I entered a pizza-eating contest sponsored by Domino's. We sat on a stage at some hall in town with a few other slobs. I ate the whole pizza, my buddy ate the pizza plus a couple slices. Neither one of us came close to winning.

Two hours later, we were eating like fiends at another buddy's house. Good times.

I used to put away a ton of food--I mean, I could just eat and eat and eat and not gain any weight. Not so much now.

The funniest/saddest/most pathetic thing about the Domino's story: I invited a girl I really liked to watch it. So she sat there with my mom, whom she'd just met, watching me and my friend feed our faces. Two days later, we (the girl and I, not my friend and I...or my mom and I, that shit happened one town over) were officially an item and she became my first love *awwwwwwwwwwwwww* Jesus, what was I thinking?

 

Dammit!

One of my friend's roommates used to go out to a nearby McDonald's on Tuesdays for the $2.99 20-piece chicken nugget special and buy 60...and eat them all in one sitting :-X

 

Yes, that's the same episode. And I once fell in love at Dominoes, too. It was a glorious piece of pepperoni and sausage, and it changed my life.

 

Mike, you know we support you no matter which side of the plate you swing from.

I hope this freed you.

 

Call me The Mike.

 

Back in high school -- maybe early in college -- a good friend of mine, Lunchbox (at least 265, at the time), were dining at the Chinese buffet. We went in there with one mission: Eat the other into submission.

We matched each other plate for plate, filling five plates with food that slipped over the sides, and piece by piece, we dug until we reached plate. Finally, after we finish the fifth plates, he looks at me, slumped in anguish, and says, "Truce?" I shook his hand and admit to the draw. Then I put down my napkin and went up for ice cream.

He still talks about that day whenever we go to a buffet.

 

That just made my night. I had a friend we started calling Lunchbox after one of the Kevin Smith movies.