What's the most you've ever eaten in one sitting?

When I was in high school, the local McDonalds would have an all-you-can-eat night once a week. You'd pay, get your hand stamped and order anything (except McNuggets) for the first round.

One week I lost a Big Mac-eating contest. I was only able to put away five of them. My buddy managed to down seven of them.

Of course, I suppose there are no winners in a Big Mac-eating contest.

 

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LINK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

That's how we did it, too. We were all getting into the movies; we'd watch them repeatedly in my bedroom. We already had a nickname for our other fat friend, named Fat Mike, so we started calling the other one "Lunchbox." We bought him a Mooby's hat, and even contemplating pitching some dough together for a black trench coat. Thankfully, we didn't. It turns out he hated the nickname, but didn't tell any of us until I asked him about it a couple months ago. So the idiot was walking around being referred to as only "Lunchbox" -- I called him Chris once, and he looked at me in surprise -- for five years. His girlfriend even called him Lunchbox.

He likes it now, and we're all better off for it.

 

Dude. I always wear a shirt when I type on here.

 

Out of respect, like Reagan not taking off his jacket in the Oval Office, right?

 

Of course. Pants are optional in my place. But everyone wears a shirt. Sometimes, when I really feel like paying my respects to you good people, I'll break out the top hat and monocle. You guys deserve a little Mr. Peanut action every now and then.

 

Solid. Damn solid.

 

That's fantastic. I'm still not even sure my buddy understood the nickname. One of my boys and I spent an entire afternoon altering our minds and went to see Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, and I called our buddy Lunchbox from that day on. Only a couple of us called him that, and we never really checked to see if he knew where it came from. This was six years ago, and his number is still in my phone with the Lunchbox reference.

 

So, that explains the bottom line of your sig.

 

that was excellent.

I am now reminded of the time, on spring break in 1995, when my buddies and I went to $1 hot dog night at a ballpark in New Orleans. I wimped out after three or four. The winner in our group--a term used loosely, to be sure--ate eight. The bathroom in our already shitty hotel room REALLY stunk that night.

 

shot: Know the river well. Spent the first 12 years of my life in Middletown. Survived Hurricane Agnes when I was a tike.

 

11 pounds of crab legs.