What's your favorite Seinfeld line?

A line which explains why George is my favorite -- after George reaches into the tip jar because the calzone guy didn't see him give the money and he wants to give the tip again to get credit:

Jerry: So you don't make a habit of giving to the blind?
George: Not bills.

 

"So that old lady in Titanic was just a slut."



Kramer, putting his own take on Elaine's Ziggy cartoon:

"I have a complaint. My wife's a slut."

 

"Jimmy legs."

 

"I'm out there Jerry, and I'm LOVING EVERY MINUTE OF IT!"

 

I hate anyone who ever had a pony.

 

--Would you like the insurance?
--Yeah, because I'm planning on beating the crap out of this car.
(as close as I can get from memory).

 

Kramer, on the Junior Mint: "It's chocolate, it's peppermint ... It's very refreshing!"

 

Second spitter episode on TBS right NOW!!!

 

Roger McDowell - the second spitter - now the pitching coach of my beloved Atlanta Braves.

"Why would McDowell spit on you."
"Maybe it was those beers we poured on him in the bullpen."

 

The whole scene when Jerry and Elaine are trying to match George up with Elaine's friend. Don't have time to look up the scene right now, but a few highlights:
Elaine describing George as stocky (great delivery) to which her friend asks if he's fat and Elaine says no, he's strong. "I once saw him lift 100 pounds right up over his head."
And George's ridiculous questions and Jerry's great responses: "What about her cheek, is there a pinkish hue?" "A hue?" "Yeah, I like a nice, rosy glow" "There's a hue"
And then asking about if he'll be able to get his hand out of her hair if he runs his hand through it. "Would you like to be able to get your hand out" "I'd like to be able to get it out eventually" "I think you'll get it out."

Just classic scenes juxtaposed against one another.

 

Elaine's greatest scene:

I don't like this thing! And here's what I'm doing with it!

 

I've got the time.

From The Fix Up:

Cynthia: First of all, what does he do?
Elaine: He was in real estate, um, now, he's not working right now?
Cynthia: He's not working?! How come he's not working?
Elaine: Well, um, he, he got fired.
Cynthia: Why did he get fired?
Elaine: Uh. Why? Oh, right. Um, well, he tried to poison his boss.
Cynthia: Excuse me?
Elaine: Such a long story, Cynthia, seriously, I mean he just had some problems at work.
Cynthia: Is he nuts?
Elaine: No, no, no, he's a really really funny guy.
Cynthia: What does he look like?
Elaine: Pardon?
Cynthia: What does he look like?
Elaine: Um, well, he's got a lot of character in his face. Um, he's short. Um, he's stocky.
Cynthia: Fat. Is that what you're saying, that he's fat?
Elaine: Powerful. He is so powerful, he can lift a hundred pounds right up over his head. And um, what else. What else. Oh, right. Um, well, he's kind of, just kind of losing his hair.
Cynthia: He's bald?
Elaine: No! No, no, no, he's not bald. He's balding.
Cynthia: So he will be bald.
Elaine: Yup.

Cut back to Jerry and George.

George: What kind of hair?
Jerry: You know, long dark hair.
George: Flowing?
Jerry: Flowing?
George: Is it flowing? I like flowing, cascading hair. Thick lustrous hair is very important to me.
Jerry: 'Thick lustrous hair is very important to me,' is that what you said?
George: Yeah, that's right.
Jerry: Just clarifying.
George: Let me ask you this. If you stick your hand in the hair is it easy to get it out?
Jerry: Do you want to be able to get it out or do you want to not be able to get it out?
George: I'd like to be able to get it out.
Jerry: I think you'll get it out.
George: What about the skin? I need a good cheek, I like a good cheek.
Jerry: She's got a fine cheek.
George: Is there a pinkish hue?
Jerry: A pinkish hue?
George: Yes, a rosy glow.
Jerry: There's a hue. She's got great eyebrows, women kill to have her eyebrows.
George: Who cares about eyebrows? Is she sweet? I like sweet. But not too sweet, you could throw up from that.
Jerry: I don't think you'll throw up. *She* likes to throw up.

Cut back to Elaine and Cynthia.

Cynthia: Has he ever been married?
Elaine: No.
Cynthia: Has he been close?
Elaine: He once spent a weekend with a woman.
Cynthia: He didn't really try to poison his boss?
Elaine: Yeah, he did.