What's your favorite Seinfeld line?

Empty calories and male curiosity, eh Georgie!

 

George's answering machine message:

Believe it or not, George isn't at home.
Please leave a message at the beep.
I must be out, or I'd pick up the phone.
Where could I be?
Believe it or not, I'm not home!

 

1st — "I choose not to run!" from the race episode. Love it.

2nd — "Iyyyyyyye got it!" when George busts in the room with the perfect idea for the 'roommate switch.'

Honorable mention: "These pretzels are making me thirsty." I say this every time I eat pretzels. Every time.

 

You put the balm on!?
Who told you to put the balm on?!
I didn't tell you to put the balm on!
I can't believe you put the balm on!

 

Elaine stuck on the subway on the way to a gay wedding:

"I hate men, but I'm not a lesbian."

 

Eddie: Hey, I think I got something here. The Bengalese Galoshes.

Elaine: Oh.

Eddie (reading): It's tough keeping your feet dry when you're kicking in a
skull.

Elaine: You know, Eddie, that might be just a tad harsh for womenswear.

Eddie: Well, I'm not married to it.

Elaine. Oh. Well, um, in that case why don't we take the phrase, "kicking in a
skull" and we tweak it, you know, just a hair, to something like, what, like
"strolling through a dewy meadow"?

Eddie: Dewy meadow.

 

Two good ones:

Estelle after "catching" George: "I don't understand you. I really don't. You have nothing better to do at three o' clock in the afternoon? I go out for a quart of milk, I come home, and find my son treating his body like it was an amusement park!"


Jackie Childs: "Damn fools! Look at that! We got nothin' now, nothin'! I've been practicing law for 25 years, you're listenin' to a caddie! This is a public humiliation! You can't let the defendant have control of the key piece of evidence. Plus, she's trying it on over a leotard, of course a bra's not gonna fit on over a leotard. A bra gotta fit right up a person's skin, like a glove!"

 

Frasier: So, um... how do you like Cheers?
Lilith: Well. It seems adequate for its purpose, but I have a feeling that you only brought me to this place to surround yourself with people you know and I don't.
Frasier: Well, yes. But what's more, I thought that we might have a drink or two, thereby lowering our inhibitions a bit and enabling us to go back to your place and have a physical encounter of some sort.
Lilith: Well, we won't.
Frasier: I appreciate your candor.
Lilith: No, you don't.
Frasier: You're right. I feel like striking you.

Oh, wrong show. Yeah, well, too freakin' bad.

 

Certainly wrong show, but pretty damn funny nonetheless.

 

Jerry on sweatpants - "You wear sweatpants and you're telling the world, 'I give up! I can't compete, so I might as well be comfortable.' "

 

From the Chinese restaurant:
George: For 50 bucks? I'd put my face in their soup and blow.

From The Contest:
Jerry: I can't take it anymore. She's driving me crazy. I can't sleep. I can't leave and when I'm here I'm climbing the walls. Meanwhile, I'm dating a virgin, I'm in this contest. SOMETHING'S GOTTA GIVE!