What's your favorite Seinfeld line?

Serenity Now!

 

[the coffee shop. Kramer is now giving the huge keyring to George.]

GEORGE: Gee, Kramer, I uh...I don't know what to say.

KRAMER: Say yes! Yes, George. Yes!

GEORGE: Should I give you my keys, is that the transaction, trading keys...? Because Elaine has my keys.

KRAMER: Well, you can get 'em back?

GEORGE: I suppose I could.

KRAMER: Because you see, George, having the keys to Jerry's apartment? That kept me in a fantasy world. Every time I went over to his house, it was like I was on vacation. Better food, better view, better TV. And cleaner? Oh - much cleaner. That became my reality. I ignored the squalor in my own life because I'm looking at life, you see, through Jerry's eyes. I was living in twilight, George. Living in the shadows. Living in the darkness...like you.

GEORGE: Me?

KRAMER: Oh, yeah. I can barely see you, George.

GEORGE: Alright, stop it Kramer, you're freakin' me out. (The waitress comes over.)

WAITRESS: Hi, are you ready to order? (George tries to order, but Kramer interrupts.)

KRAMER (moves over and sits next to George): Do you ever yearn?

GEORGE: Yearn? Do I yearn?

KRAMER: I yearn.

GEORGE: You yearn.

KRAMER: Oh, yes. Yes, I yearn. Often, I...I sit...and yearn. Have you yearned?

GEORGE: Well, not recently. I craved. I crave all the time, constant craving...but I haven't yearned.

KRAMER (in disgust): Look at you.

GEORGE: Aw, Kramer, don't start...

KRAMER (moving back to the othe side of the booth): You're wasting your life.

GEORGE: I am not! What you call wasting, I call living! I'm living my life!

KRAMER: O.K., like what? No, tell me! Do you have a job?

GEORGE: No.

KRAMER: You got money?

GEORGE: No.

KRAMER: Do you have a woman?

GEORGE: No.

KRAMER: Do you have any prospects?

GEORGE: No.

KRAMER: You got anything on the horizon?

GEORGE: Uh...no.

KRAMER: Do you have any action at all?

GEORGE: No.

KRAMER: Do you have any conceivable reason for even getting up in the morning?

GEORGE: I like to get the Daily News!

KRAMER: George, it's time for us to grow up - and be men. Not little boys.

GEORGE: Why?

KRAMER: I'm goin' to California. You know, I got the bug.

GEORGE: Yeah, I think I got a touch of something, too.

KRAMER: No, the acting bug. Ever since I was in that Woody Allen movie.

GEORGE: "These pretzels are making me thirsty"? That was one line! You got fired!

KRAMER: I know, I know, but man! I never felt so alive! Now, are you coming with me?

GEORGE: Uh, no, I'm not.

KRAMER: Alright, suit yourself. But let's keep this between us - we're key brothers now. (Gets up to leave.)

GEORGE: You're not really gonna go to California, are you?

KRAMER (points to his head): Up here, I'm already gone. (Kramer exits.)

 

From The Limo. Always loved Jerry's delivery:

Tim: You know it's funny. You don't look like an O'Brien.

George: Me??

George and Jerry laugh nervously.

Tim: And you really don't look like a Murphy.

Jerry: I may not look like a Murphy but I act like a Murphy.

George: He's extremely Murphy. He's Murphy to a fault.

Tim: Where are you from?

Jerry: Dublin. Originally. Parents came over here when I was eighteen.
Cereal famine. Couldn't get a bowl anywhere. Bad. 'Tis a beautiful country
though; lush rolling hills, and the peat, ah the peat.

Tim: Sounds more like Scottish.

Jerry: We were right on the border.

 

GEORGE: There's no solarium! There's no horses! No Snoopy or Prickly Pete! No second solarium!
ROSS: We know
GEORGE: Then why did you make me drive all the way out here?
ROSS: We don't like you George, and we always blamed you for what happened to Susan.

 

These pretzels are making me thirsty!

 

That's not good for business.

That's not good for anybody.

 

You know how to take the reservation, you just don't know how to hold the reservation and
that's really the most important part of the reservation, the holding.

 

Eat a plum.

 

Kramer, talking about calling a penalty on another player during a round of golf: "Without rules, there is chaos."

 

"Well here's to feeling good all the time!"

 

Jerry to George: Yeah....but Glamour?!

 

Kramer: Well, you know, we were playing a game and, you know, I was pitching,
and I was really throwing some smoke. And Joe Pepitone, he was up, and man that
guy, you know, he was crowding the plate.

Jerry: Wow! Joe Pepitone!

Kramer: Yeah, well, Joe Pepitone or not, I own the inside of that plate. So I
throw one, you know, inside, you know, a little chin music, put him right on his
pants. Cause I gotta intimidate when I'm on the mound. Well the next pitch,
he's right back in the same place. So, I had to plunk him.

Jerry: You plunked him.

Kramer: Oh yeah. Well, he throws down his bat, he comes racing up to the
mound. Next thing, both benches are cleared, you know? A brouhaha breaks out
between the guys in the camp, you know, and the old Yankee players, and as I'm
trying to get Moose Skowron off of one of my teammates, you know, somebody pulls
me from behind, you know, and I turned around and I popped him. I looked down,
and woah man, it's Mickey. I punched his lights out.