When to stiff the waitress

I don't buy into the idea that we, as customers, should lower our expectations because the waiter/waitress isn't making minimum wage. If my income depended on my service, I'd dish out some damn good service.

I'm not hard to please and I don't need to be entertained. Just bring take my order and bring my food in a reasonable amount of time and don't leave me choking. It's not that hard. And if you do it, I'll plop down 20 percent every single time. Hell, I'll even overlook some problems with the food, since the waiter/waitress can't control that.

What I hate, though, is to have some server screw up my order and then blame the cooks. "Oh, I told them no lettuce." Really? So, you knew I didn't want lettuce all along, but you still looked it over, placed it on the tray, carried it all the way to the table and put it in front of me like this? It really irks me after the server has attempted to impress me by not writing down my order.

 

All I could think of was that Hooter's In Auburn, Alabama.
Hundred dollar tip gets you a complimentary BJ.

I tend to be a rounder and I usually tip, even if it is crappy. Regulars, who are also good tippers, get free drinks at bars. But I do something weird. If I pay cash, and my tab is $12.50 and they keep the coinage, I get pissed and leave a smaller tip, like a buck, but if they had brought back the coinage, I would have left it anyway, and then left two bucks.

 

Oh whoa, dude, my apologies, I didn't even see your post before I responded. I was referring to Unibomber and his galactically asinine view of service people, and I thought I could get away without quoting. My bad.

 

why do you hate flip so badly mert?

 

If you wanna stiff the waitress/waiter and send the proper message about poor service, leave a penny or three. or a nickel. they know what that means.

and if your credit card isn't being picked up fast enough to pay the bill, don't sit there and wait. take the bill up to the front and say: "I've got to get going. Can someone take my money?"

They'll be happy to find someone to take your money real quick.

Just because someone ignores you at the table doesn't mean you have to be ignored.

But if the waiter or waitress is an asshole, leave a nickel or three pennies. It's a fun way to remind them that a) the service sucked, and b) you're very much aware that the service sucked.

if it's the kitchen's fault, though, don't screw the wait staff if they try hard to make you happy. at that point, ask to see the manager and point out whatever problems you incurred.

i can't remember the last time i left a nickel. but i do remember it was always fun to think about that lousy server looking for that tip on the table, and finding a nickel.

As a former waiter in more than three good places, I can assure you of the message that sends.

 

Why WOULDN'T I hate flip so badly?

 

touche mert, touche.

 

You know what's funny?

Everybody has a story about their crappy server. Nobody ever cops to being a shitty customer.

And you know who you are.

You're a bunch of fucking whining sauce on siders, and I know you're out there. You order well done and don't tip on liquor and ask for shit that doesn't resemble the menu. You forgot to tip and don't tip and don't say a word when she asks you if you need anything else and then take her head off five minutes later when your 64 ounce diet coke that you ordered with your triple-fried platter is empty for the third fucking time.

And that's because we have this fucked up system where no one ever tells you you're a shitty customer. They just smile and apologize and spit in your food.

 

I feel at this juncture I should make it clear that it would take one hell of a shitty performance to get me to stiff a server.

Just wanted to get that out there before I got caught in the crossfire of Zeke's vitriol. Whew, that was good stuff.

 

i stiffed zeke on a tip once.

 

Once, Tom.

Once.

 

Once.





(Dammit, Zeke beat me to it. I don't care, I did the work to find the picture. I'm fuckin' posting it.