When You Don't Want to Be a Resume Reference

'Jeezus, Dad, you gotta get me outta here....she's on the couch in her workout clothes half the day, posting on some website....then she tells me to shut up so she can write some stuff, and then she talks on the phone for about two hours to some guy she calls Boom, and then she made me go running with her! I never saw someone run with a Blackberry like that, she never stopped texting the whole time! And she never eats! She just talks and types! A total freak! I'm serious, Dad, maybe I could come work for you??'

Hmm. Might work.

 

I've had to just come out with it and tell people I won't be a reference in the past, but I don't think this is even a particularly hard case. If someone hasn't actually worked for you, you really aren't a valuable employment reference anyway. I mean, what potential employer wants to hear from a reference who hasn't employed someone, or at least taught the person? I know I have no interest in hearing from "someone who knows someone."

Just tell the father that you know from being in the biz that he should be seeking references from former employers or teachers. That's the truth, and it doesn't even hurt.

 

I think we should help 21, by coming up with questions for her interview with The Putz.

 

I knew you would know what to do.

I'm waiting for him to show up here and start a thread, 'When Some Snooty Bitch Won't Be Your Reference.'

REALLY hoping the dad doesn't read this site, here's his response to my earlier email: 'Is it that big of a deal?'

 

Honesty best policy

 

Umm....No tickee no washee

Also, I believe I hold the SJ copyright to 21, please contact my attorney for further information.

 

Your answer: When it comes to giving my personal reference, in the business I work in, yes it is.

 

Questions for the Little Douchenozzle:

1.) Do you like working nights and weekends?

2.) So, you like working nights and weekends. Have you sought professional help about your desire to avoid sex?

3.) Are you aware that your first job will be in a small town where the residents engage in sex with cattle? (Which, BTW, solves the problem of working nights and weekends.)

4.) Do you like ramen noodles?

 

I think you handled it perfectly.

 

You call the kid. You talk to him. You give him a story of a time you slacked off and then what woke you up.

Then, you allow him to use you as a reference.

When they call you, be honest - hey, he's rough around the edges, he needs some guidance, etc but there is talent (assuming you see it).

In 2007 I'm being positive and all about helping people. College J student I don't even know just emailed me yesterday out of the blue and asked for a small interview for their j-school class. Said a mutual friend of ours said I'd be good for it. I was busy as shit yesterday ... and took about 20 minutes out of my day to whip together a few answers. (You can tell the kid is a slacker ... they like 6 hours to get this done. Either a slacker or I was the 10th option. Whatever.)

And almost like karma ... a potentially awesome freelance opportunity came my way later that day. Actually, potentially awesome is not giving it full credit ... dream opportunity is more like it. Now, it's up to me to make it happen.

 

ask him when it's appropriate to go ATM.

"Uh, like, when I need money and stuff?"