Who wants to take a whack?

Soccer causes gunts.

 

Soccer also causes fupas.

 

It's soccer's fault that I'm kicking it old-school.

 

Soccer framed Andy Dufresne for murder, not that cackling fag Elmo Blatch.

 

It's soccer's fault that the unibomber went crazy and moved to Montana.

 

Soccer once taunted Big Happy Fun Ball ... and lived to tell about it.

 

Basso and Ullrich weren't suspended for drugs, but rather for soccer.

 

Soccer is that annoying little fucker in those foot fungus commercials, the dermaphrodite?

Soccer created an annoying Applebee's ad campaign featuring two no-talent assclowns who do pathetic versions of beloved songs to shill for a 17th-rate restaurant. Check out their version of Rick Nelson's Garden Party and try to hold the vomit in your throat.

 

Soccer is why Chuck Norris won't cry.

 

Soccer's so loose it would let Boots go back-door on it.

 

Soccer is what made Joe Mauer so soft.

 

Soccer is the new Charlie Brown.

Soccer is why Pedro is hurt, right in time for the All-Star break again.