Who wants to take a whack?

Soccer cost Pickle_Juice her job with the Miami Herald.

 

Soccer made me get a vasectomy.

 

Soccer makes Dooley post pad.

 

Soccer caused the locking of the Charlie Brown and late-night threads.

 

Soccer is the reason my balls hurt.

No, wait, that's gonorrhea.

I still choose to blame soccer.

 

Soccer caused Byner to fumble on the 3-yard-line.

Soccer enabled John Elway to pick apart the Browns defense on The Drive.

Soccer is the reason Duke hasn't won a national title since 2001.

Soccer has now caused IJAG to hate me.

 

Soccer is why Americans suck at tennis right now.

Soccer caused Serena, Andre and Lindsay to get hurt.

Soccer caused Andy's mojo to disappear.

Soccer made Venus old before her time.

 

Soccer is the reason Ken Griffey Jr. is always hurt.

Soccer is the cause for the Reds' atrocious bullpen.

 

:'( :'( :'( :'(

Soccer is why the Colts choke in the playoffs every year.

Soccer is why Ron-Ron kept fucking up the Pacers.

 

Soccer caused the Pistons-Pacers melee.

Soccer broke up the Bulls' dynasty.

If you look closely at the footage, soccer broke Rudy Tomjanovich's nose, not Kermit Washington.

 

Soccer made Dooley refer to "Ameircan Pie" lyrics at least twice tonight

 

Soccer makes me kick my dog.