Who will have the worst record in the NFL?

Kitna's passing stats are all cotton-candy and hot air, completely meaningless empty numbers pumped up by Martz's throw-throw-throw-and-throw-some-more offense, in which any schmuck off the waiver wire would throw for 3,500 yards assuming he stayed in the lineup all year.

Hey, while we're on THAT topic -- schmucks off the waiver wire -- the wonderful J.T. O'Sullivan threw for 232 yards in last night's extravaganza ( one less yard than Peyton Manning ). Multiply that by 16, he'd throw for 3,712 yards over the course of a full season. While Kitna was 4th in the league in passing yards, the Lions were Twenty-Second (22nd!!) in scoring (due almost totally to disastrous turnovers by Kitna himself).

Kitna, sliding easily into the shoes formerly worn by the immortal Jeff Garcia, endlessly regales the beat-writer slappies covering the Lions about his own seasoned savvy, his poise, his experience, his ability to handle pressure, his fiery leadership qualities which rally the team powerfully behind him, ready to run through walls and march through the fires of hell, blah blah yadda yadda yack yack bullshit.

Martz and his sock puppet Marinelli apparently concur. Obviously they do, since they have already announced Kitna is the guaranteed QB starter through next season -- they will brook no challenge to the authority of their fiery field general. They don't want him looking over his shoulder if he should happen to throw an interception (or 30), lose a fumble (or a dozen) or lose a game or two (or 15).

The upside of THAT, of course, being that the chance of Martz still being in Detroit at the end of the 2008 season is about 3%, only slightly better than Marinelli, at about 8-10%, so who Martz or Marinelli thinks will be starting at QB for the Detroit Lions in late 2008 frankly don't mean shit.

I certainly don't feel like bothering to look it up right now, but I can tell you of the Lions 13 losses last year, at least three or four were DIRECTLY the result of catastrophic fourth-quarter turnovers by none other than Jon Unitas/Elway Kitna. I mean directly, as in the game would have been won if the quarterback doesn't barf up the ball in the last 3:00 of the game.

Wouldn't you think maybe that avoiding catastrophic fourth-quarter turnovers might be an important skill for a savvy seasoned veteran fiery leader of men in the NFL?? Yeah I know some turnovers are the result of bad OL play, doesn't the seasoned savvy Kitna realize his OL pretty much sucks, maybe he ought to be a little extra careful to keep the ball tucked in??

One thing to remember: Whenever a career journeyman player like Kitna (and Garcia) starts talking about his own fiery leadership qualities as his primary attribute, you can take one thing to the bank -- it's to camouflage the fact that he can't actually play worth a shit.

Guys like Brett Favre, Manning, Brady, people can go on and on and on about their fiery leadership qualities and yes it does get a bit tiresome, but there's also some truth to it. But more than just their fiery leadership qualities, they're also hellacious football players. That's what makes them Favre, Manning and Brady.

Sweet Jesus. Jon Kitna, Jeff Garcia and Joey Harrington are all apparently secure starting QBs for NFL franchises heading into the regular season. We truly stand on the edge of the abyss.

 

As with so many things Starman, I knew that was coming. I knew that was coming and it was still hilarious.

 

The Chiefs are absolutely awful and going nowhere. They have to play Denver and San Diego twice. Still, I don't see them as being much below 4-12. :-\

 

Starman: If Harrington, Kitna and Garcia starting put us at the precipice, Damon Huard winning the starting job in KC sends us head-first into the volcano.

 

I voted for my supershitty Browns.

 

NFL 2008: Abandon Hope, All Ye Who Enter Here.

 

The alternative to Huard was BRodie Croyle... that would have sent us headfirst.
Harrington, Kitna and Garcia... is Jeff Komlo unavailable?

 

Somewhere in the darkness, Scott Mitchell lurks.

 

It doesn't matter who the Chiefs use at QB -- Herm won't let him throw.

 

I'm going with the Houston Texans. They're starting the season with the least experienced starting QB in the league and leading candidate for the Rob Johnson Award.

 

Andre Ware wonders how he was forgotten.

 

It doesn't matter. Rodney Peete would come out of retirement to take Ware's job anyway.