Who's the celebrity no one finds that hot, but you find REALLY hot?

Without looking at 14 pages

Kelly Clarkson
Martina Hingis
Cassie Campbell
Cammi Granato
Mia Hamm
And on the crazy side, but still Katey Holmes

 

Sandra Oh. She's never been any hotter than as Rita Wu in Arli$$.

 

I don't mean to sound like DyePack, but do many of you even read the thread questions? How in the hell do Kelly Clarkson, Martina Hingis, Mia Hamm, etc., even fit the criteria?

Man, I was thinking people would really be cleaning out their mastubatory closets, wondering aloud about their fantasy of slowly going up the flower dress of Mrs. Roper or Mama from Mama's Family -- your choice.

 

Bubbler, you know that Aunt Bee is much, much hotter than Mrs. Roper or Mama....

 

Greg Grunberg, who was Weiss on Alias and is going to be on that new show, Heroes, with the little girl from Remember the Titans who's all growed up now.

 

Shelley Fabares, as she was in Coach. Much hotter than the teen idol version of her back in the day.

 

Fuck that ... and lets get one thing immediately on the table.

If the arc of Three's Company taught us one thing it's that Mrs. Roper likes her dicks.

She likes dicks in the morning, she likes dicks in the afternoon, she likes dicks all night.

Extrapolate it people, If she's so damn horny that she's ready to ride roughshod at the drop of a double-entendre on Norman Fell's wrinkled up truncheon, she's ready for action from just about anyone with a heartbeat and a male sex organ.

And that's what we do know. To quote Charlie Rich, Lord only knows what goes on behind closed doors. I can totally see Mrs. Roper turning her sunny disposition into dominatrix sadism.

Maybe Stanley doesn't want to fuck not so much because he's an over-farting, no-personality loser, maybe he's deathly afraid his night of amour will end up with his soiled underwear in his own mouth and an unsqueezed lemon up his ass.



Mrs. Roper is shown in a circa-1978 pre-take
shot in one of the first Amateur's Only porno-
graphy films. Not pictured is a latex-clad Stanley
and a box of lemons. Reportedly, the hard-boiled
egg was an effective anal-clearance apparatus
for the lemons.

Mrs. Roper probably invites Larry (or any random dude down at the Regal Beagle) and lets his 70s EST-like sexual fantasies have their outlet in her willing body, all in front of poor put-upon, lemon-up-his-ass Stanley.

And given all that, she's way too much woman for most of SportsJournalists.com masturbation nation to handle. So I'd advise the Mama's Family route.

 

In some circles Hingis is fiercely debated. I was originally in the not hot crowd (many years ago). Hamm, IMO, not hot.

 

Larry from the Regal Beagle would be Mr. Furley's rent boy.

 

Eh, I made a change. I didn't mean "soiled panties" when I wrote it, I meant "his soiled underwear in his own mouth".

Not sure what that does for the disturbing factor.

 

Like moving a deck chair on a cruise ship. Impact negligible.

 

Yeah, a white cruise ship with a matrix of black squares on the side, along with the word "SHIP" writ large.